retrospective

so, i haven't been keeping up with some thoughts i wanted to include here, so i have to go back a little.

last monday my coworker's baby was born. his wife was due a week after me, but apparently the baby had other plans. he was born happy and healthy at 37 weeks, but did have a hernia to address. i'm happy for them, but it really made it that much more "real" to know that my baby could arrive at any point. when i was thinking this, i reflected on how pregnancy can teach you a whole new perspective on patience. as i'm writing, i'm really starting to wish this baby would get this show on the road already.

the next day was very intense. i woke up tuesday morning with the baby in an awkward position, with his butt right under my ribcage. it's not the first time baby has found himself in that position, but it was very noticeable. just the night before when adam came to bed, he commented that he hadn't noticed me say anything about the baby moving recently. with that in the back of my mind, i went through my usual morning routine, but noticed the baby wasn't moving as usual. i typically feel a squirm or 2 while eating breakfast, but nothing. so i took a tall glass of cold water, went downstairs on the couch and drank and waited. nothing. by this point it had been a good 30-40 minutes since i had gotten up and i had eaten and drank cold water. i couldn't take it any more. i crawled into bed, woke up adam, but instead of explaining what was going on, i started to cry. sure, i was scared, but i hadn't realized just how scared i was till i had to put it into words for adam. he assured me everything was fine, but after a cigarette, he would call the hospital and see what they have to say. he called and the nurse he spoke with suggested i have some juice and call back after 45 minutes or so. but was that 45 minutes from when we first noticed nothing going on, or 45 minutes more after we spoke to her? she didn't seem too worried, but then again, not very reassuring either. i had some juice, waited 10 minutes, then we got in the car and went over to the hospital. we couldn't take it any more. adam held my hand the whole way there and although we talked about how it was most likely the baby was fine, especially since we had made it this far along, the hospital would be able to tell us for sure and put our minds at ease as best we could. i had to confess that i felt guilty dragging him out of bed for something that was probably nothing, but he insisted he wouldn't have it any other way. at that point i felt so good and bad at the same time, we got to the hospital and i felt like a bit of a zombie. when we got there, i had to change into a hospital gown while the nurse asked adam a slew of questions. in hindsight, i know adam was more nervous than he let on when he couldn't recall my birthday. he knows my birthday- has known for the last 10 years. . . but nerves can get you in weird ways. it took the nurse an agonizingly long time to find the baby's heartbeat with the fetal monitor. so much so, my blood pressure was way high (should have taken it before searching for the heartbeat!). but once that regular beat was heard, adam and i were both relieved and knew everything would be a-ok. turns out the baby didn't move till right around 8am (more than 2 hours after getting up), so we're guessing baby was just really tired that morning. some ER residents did an ultrasound and our doctor checked in on us before we left. all in all, the experience was positive and reassured us that coming in was the right thing to do.

later on that day, adam celebrated some more good news. he had his court date for the 2 bogus traffic violations he received, contested the tickets in court and won! the cop was a real jerk (gave one ticket, then when adam mentioned contesting it, he gave him another ticket since he was "going to be that way about it."), so it really made adam's day to win. between adam's quick thinking and watching lots of law and order, he questioned the offending officer so thoroughly and effectively that the judge didn't need to hear adam's side: he ruled in adam's favor and dismissed the tickets outright. truly, justice was served! adam feels some lingering disappointment for not being able to recite his well-planned statement, but when you do a good enough job of just asking questions, you kinda have to feel good about that!

thursday rolled around and i decided to vote early before my weekly appointment. this election is way too important to risk not being able to exercise my rights! the papers had been very pessimistic when reporting on early voting, citing hours-long lines all over the city since the option was made available on 10/13. so, i went to welles park at 8:45 (polls were to open at 9) and despite a line, i was in, out and voted by 9am. BUT, by 9am the line was zig-zagged around the corridor, out the door and down the block. thank goodness i went early! i got out in plenty of time for my 9:45 doctor's appointment, making the missed half day of work that much more worth while. when i got into work, my boss commented that our baby won't think it's weird having a black president and i couldn't agree more!

the doctor's appointment was another non-eventful experience, though due to some scheduling issues, i was there from 9:30 until 11. ugh. i gained a mere half pound and my blood pressure continues to be acceptable. a quick exam revealed i was barely dilated, but the doctor assured me that it was no gauge for when the baby would arrive (darn!). i asked about a recurring tingling in my right hand. . . i had chalked it up to swelling of some sort (i truly hope it is as temporary as everyone says, because i hate having sausage toes!! and i really miss :( my wedding ring). as it turns out, i most likely have a temporary version carpal tunnel. woo hoo! it's exacerbated by repetitive motions (mouse clicking, doh!, knitting, doh!) but not harmful in any real way. aside from being an odd sensation, it doesn't really bother me, but i would prefer for it to go away as soon as possible. the visit was wrapped up with a flu shot, something i really didn't think necessary, given the fact i would be home bound for the better part of flu season; but the prospect of company and being most likely sleep deprived, the doctor talked me into it. i had to chuckle at the waiver form i signed: am i allergic? who knows! this would be my first one. turns out i'm not and after a few weeks, i don't feel any worse for wear either. whew.

halloween came and went with little fanfare. i had bought some devilish wings for gibson a while back as an impulse buy from target. they were just too cute! too bad i didn't think through the sizing process, because when i attempted to put them on him after work, i was disappointed to find the straps weren't quite long enough to get around his ribcage. they looked perfect, but without a more sturdy attachment, they didn't stand a chance of staying on. ironically, i had used the wings as an inspiration for my own costume of "angel." i use quotes because it was a very loose interpretation. i wore the white sundress mom bought me over the summer (and i FINALLY got around to altering so i could fit into it: "large" was grossly misinterpreted) over jeans, my wedding tiara as halo and some blue fairy wings from a half-assed halloween from the past. i felt huge in the dress (it's very billowy) but cute enough. when i got home, i was excited to hand out candy to the kids and adam even came home early to help out. the screen from the door was removed (to hand out candy easily and keep gibson inside) and porchlight was on by 5:30 or so. . . for nothing! one person rang the bell but left before i could answer (i didn't take THAT long) and that was it. i left the light on until 8pm then called it quits. we were so bummed! good thing we got candy WE liked. . . cuz we ended up eating it all ourselves over the next few days.




monday really got my hopes up, but for little payoff. by the time i got to work monday morning, there was a ring of tightness around my torso: around my lower back and the under part of my belly. i felt different, but aside from tightness, i couldn't articulate it much more than that. i also had quite the appetite! i ate and and ate and ate (compared to my usual fare) and it kinda felt good. when nothing really happened beyond that, i came to the conclusion that the baby dropped. it did feel lower and every once in a while it seemed harder to walk "normally" from the added pressure. it was progress and i took it for all it's worth! that night adam and i did something we'd been talking about for a while: taking a belly picture! we had seen it online from someone else and it looked too cute to pass up. with the baby dropped, we figured we should really get on the ball, before there was no more belly to photograph. on the first take, it turned out well enough that we were done. of course, we would have loved to find a way to incorporate gibson in the shot too, but until he poses for the camera, we had no chance. he's in the room, though!

monday's shift got our hopes up, but thursday came and i was back in the doctor's office. i showed no weight gain, not much more dilation. my measurements confirmed the baby had dropped, but still, labor could be any day or time. the doctor confirmed that i shouldn't schedule any more appointments beyond the one the day after my due date; we will wait a week and go from there (should it come to that). i just wish there was something to know or some way to guess the timeframe.

i got back to work on thursday in time for a "surprise" shower, thrown by my coworkers. i use quotes because i got a call at the last week's doctor's appointment from my boss saying he was an idiot and to not read my email (his words, not mine). turns out his best laid plans lead him to include me in the invite. i assured him it was just as well, but he still was bummed. so i grabbed a pen and paper and headed down to the last minute "meeting" to be greeted by a room full of people around a table full of food. i think i acted surprised enough to fool the folks who didnt' know, but a few people knew better. but the bottom line was that i was truly surprised by how generous and thoughtful my coworkers are. i never would have expected so many people, so much food, such generous gifts. it really is heartwarming. it's not that i work with a bunch of duds (though there are a few), we just aren't really that social. it was a lot of fun, though that much harder to be the center of attention, since it was at least 95' in the room. it was amusing to wow everyone with my close due date (a week away) and my intention to work until the last day and attempt cloth diapering. it's almost as if practicality no longer has a place in childbearing any more. but we're bringing it back (like sexy, but better). yep, this whole work thing is pretty cool after all!

2 minute warning

thank goodness i follow football. adam commented to me over the weekend that a charged cell phone on my person at all times is a must, now that we're past the 2 minute warning. of pregnancy that is. just a little over 2 weeks is our official due date and the anticipation is starting to wear on me. i'm not the oversized, worn out expectant mother ready to "get this thing out of me", but rather the planner in me is loosing her patience. will i have time to get all the work (personal and business) done that i think i need to? what happens when i don't? ugh.

adam experienced a serious case of nesting this weekend and i was very impressed. i got a cold last week that kept me home thursday and friday (adam's days off), but later on friday adam caught the fever and we made some serious progress in the baby's room. to date, we had a full-size bed in the room for guests that needed a new home and several boxes of clothes and other junk that needed to be gone through. with the introduction of attic storage, we're trying to be more selective on what goes upstairs, to avoid it becoming a black hole of junk that no one needs or wants to look at ever again. but, come friday night we had sorted through boxes (only 4 went up to the attic), rearranged furniture (the bed went to the back porch short-term), and even set up the crib. sure, the room needs to be cleaned up a bit and painted, but the overall layout is looking good and is pretty much ready to use, should the baby decide to arrive sooner than the due date. i even did some laundry over the weekend and now there's some clothes, bedding and diapers and a changing table at the ready as well. we tried to set up the cradle, but that's proving a bit more challenging. first, the support board for the mattress is airing out after being replaced, stained and varnished. second, one of the supports ended up being warped in a way that prevented it from swinging, so we're attempting to straighten it out again. considering it's over 30 years old, these being the only issues is pretty darn impressive and i know it'll be ready to use once baby is ready. the bedding is all washed and ready to go!

of the many things we went through and unboxed was our stroller. it takes up a lot less space out of the box, but we're still looking for a long-term home for it. in the interim, it's hanging out in our dining room doorway and it turns out that gibson is not a fan! he stood back about 5 feet and growled and barked at it. when he somehow got past it, he cried because he felt stuck in the dining room. later on, adam opened it up in the bedroom and he ran up on the bed by me and pretty much hid from it. we can't quite figure out what his issue is with the stroller: it doesn't make noise like the vacuum, doesn't move around either (he liked it less when it did, though). i tried sitting with him and encouraging him to sniff it out, but we've only made meager progress. i think he can walk past it now without freaking out.

not immune

ok, so it turns out i'm not immune to the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy.

as i count down the weeks (i'm down to 3 now), i'm starting to really get some things together in anticipation of baby's arrival. last night i stained the piece of wood my dad prepared for the bassinet base and did a load of baby laundry. pulling the laundry out, i was struck by how tiny the "newborn" sized onsies were and had to show adam. "it's just so tiny!" i said. adam didnt' have much to say, but to agree. i, on the other hand, proceeded to burst into tears! we both laughed as adam said it was only a matter of time that everything fell apart at the last minute. a good family hug and a few minutes of cry-laughing later, i felt all better. hormones can be a wacky thing!

interestingly enough, the 37 week vegetable comparison brings us to a stalk of swiss chard. apparently it is comparable in length to the average 37 week old baby. and to think the baby is full term and could do ok at any time! wow. i hope OUR baby isn't anything like OUR swiss chard, because he/she would be a giant! we grew the red, instead of white, variety and it seems to have really liked our yard, as the stalks are almost 2 feet long and the leaves almost as big as legal-sized paper. we haven't eaten much of it, due to it's bitter and earthy flavor, but gwen the iguana we're pet-sitting for loves it.

so much to do, so little time. or is there plenty? that's what i'm struggling with most right now: not knowing how much time i have until the baby makes his/her grand entrance. so in the interim, i keep plugging away at my to-do list, hoping i get it all done in time.

anniversary!

so, this past week we celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary. scarily enough, this means we've been together 10 years, if you include the time we dated. 10 is just such a big, round number. . . it really makes a statement. what always intrigues me is that at the same time it's been forever and no time at all. i'll take it as a good sign.

we celebrated our anniversary by attending a "prepared childbirth" class at the hospital, followed up by ice cream from dairy queen. it's a sign of the times, i guess. we joked around that last year we went out to dinner and moved boxes; so i guess we're starting a bit of a trend combining practical and fun. plus, that shows how busy we've been in our married life together: buying a house and starting a family. we had talked about taking advantage of my 3 day weekend (with columbus day off), but with a lot of other things swirling around our calendar, it just didn't pan out. tuesday came and went with little fan fare, but who needs anniversary fan fare when there's a baby on the way? DQ is always a special treat for us, so it added just enough "special" to our day, especially given the fact we were in class till after 9pm.

class was an interesting experience. our instructor was a nurse in the delivery ward who had given birth to 3 children of her own. we truly respected her experience and knowledge, though her presentation became repetitive at times. we watched a video of 3 couple's birth experiences (constractions), talked about how to be prepared for coming into the hospital and a few other random items. we left before the relaxation exercises because it was getting late and we wanted to be able to spend *some* time together on our anniversary. in all, 2 interesting things came of the class. first, when our instructor commented on how all 3 of her children came early, her first 5 weeks early, adam had his first real reality check that the baby is truly close to arrival. i had been worrying about it for a couple of weeks now, but i'm more than happy to have some company on the worry train. of course, we both refuse to let the worrying take over, but it's hard to avoid the occasional wave of "whoa". the second interesting thing was we met a really nice couple due 3 days after us. during breaks over the 2 sessions, we figured out we have a bit in common and it's kinda neat to talk to other people truly going through the same thing we are. adam shared his cell number with them, and i hope they call.

thursday afternoon i had yet another doctor's appointment, back with my main doctor. i talked adam into going, since this would be the last one he could manage, given the rest are scheduled for the morning. it was at 1:15, but despite leaving work a little after noon, we didnt' get there till 1:30. i was frustrated, but what can you do when the red line takes 15 minutes to arrive and the brown line is delayed a few minutes for track work? of course, the desk person didnt' help a single bit. when you sign in, you write your name, dr's name, appt time, arrival time and if any info has changed. so when she asked if i knew if my appointment was at 1:15. . . duh, yes i knew, i wrote it down right there! so i responded "yes, but the train getting me here didn't know." then she has the gumption to ask if i called to let them know i was running late!?!?! "um no, i spent the majority of the time underground, so i couldn't call." and of course, she asked, was any of my information different. it took all the will i had to just answer "no." grrrrr. but, arriving late caused us to see our class-friends leaving, so that was kinda fun. the appointment was pretty fast and typical, with the only addition of a quick internal exam. i gained 3.5 lbs since 2 weeks ago and my cervix is soft and effacing, but nothing more exciting than that.

in the second session of class on thursday we watched a breathing video featuring early 80's fashion, watched a pain medication video, watched a labor video from an up-close-and-personal perspective, practiced some breathing and relaxation techniques and took a tour of the 2 relevant hospital wings. the breathing video was hilarious in that some fake-pregnant woman, complete with overdone shimmery make up, leotard and tights, demonstrated breathing exercises (i swear they all looked/sounded the same) with a creepy husband with a mustache and glasses. leotard and tights? what? being pregnant is uncomfortable enough as it is, as are a leotard and tights while not pregnant. . . who in their right mind would combine the two!?!?!?! adam and i got quite a few chuckles out of the class, but for all the wrong reasons. i suppose it's a good thing we didnt' go to school together; we probably would have never learned a thing, being too busy snickering at everything. the biggest revelation we got from the videos from both sessions is this: adam has no intention of being the dowdy, cuddly husband petting his laboring wife, as depicted in each one. adam assured me he'll be supportive and helpful, but not in the ways depicted in the video. given our mutual dislike of pda, this comes as no surprise and i told him as much. as long as he's helpful and doesn't take any hormonal rages personally, i think we'll both get through just fine. the tour was a bit of a disappointment, as while we saw the general wings/floors, all of the rooms were occupied in both areas, so we couldn't see more than the hallways. i may ask when i go in for appointments, but with morning appointments and a desire to limit my time away (and thus the time i have to make up), i may skip that opportunity. i am excited to hear that the hospital is offering free wi-fi, so we can take advantage of adam's iphone while there and maybe send out some pictures and emails.

saturday was the best day of the week last week by far. with help from karl (bass player in the band) and amy (karl's fiance), we threw adam a "baby daddy" shower for our friends. we had aimed for a party/get together for everyone to just hang out, have a few beers and snacks. we threw out the option to bring a gift, but down-played that aspect. since the family shower was just that: primarily family, and entirely female, we wanted to have an opportunity to celebrate with our friends, and friends of both genders. we put out a good spread of food, got a keg (though it still has some foaming issues), and decorated the basement. we even had some "games" for everyone: a hand-made stork filled with adult treats (liquor-filled chocolates, condoms and cigars), guess the baby food and guess the number of m&ms in a baby bottle.


we had some other games too, but these proved entertaining enough. a few extremely generous friends brought some gifts and we are so grateful!! we had a pretty good crowd and i think fun was had by all. i think gibson had a good time too: for a little while he got to hang out with his friends hermes and iris, then the rest of the time be showered with attention from our guests. he did enjoy karl's ruben dip a little too much, but after a timeout and closer surveillance, he did ok. i had to pace myself a bit, so as to not get too tired, and i lasted all the way till 3am. adam wasn't done partying until 6am! but, being pregnant and a flexible sleeper, i slept just fine despite the continuing festivities. happily, we have mature enough friends that clean up the next day was a breeze, involving cleaning up the food area and putting some glassware in the dishwasher.

it was back to work this morning for me, and man, am i a bit tired. i had stayed up late by sleeping later, but 6am still rolls around way too soon! i dipped into the newly-expanded wardrobe (i have courtesy of my generous friend sarah) this morning and i find myself wearing some fabulous green cords, but with mixed feelings about the waist line. these are over-the-belly pants, with a button and zipper like real pants. it's not terribly uncomfortable, but not all that comfy either. anyways, i made a big purchase this morning: cloth diaper supplies! $150 later i have what i think should last me 2 days. in a compromise with adam, we'll have disposables on hand too, so as to not over stress if cloth diapering proves too challenging at first. i'm thinking positive, but i want to give us the best chance possible too. can't wait to see how this pans out!

getting bigger

sure, people still insist i'm small for 7.5 months, but i'm starting to really feel big. like having a harder time getting off the couch big. it's fine, but amusing that it's starting to catch up with me. of course, i can still do my squats and other morning exercizes. . . but i am moving a bit more slowly now. i'm just not in that much of a hurry to get anywhere, but i'll get there eventually.

i've also moved on to my 3rd and final "wedding" ring during my pregnancy. i lasted a while with my band (but not my engagement ring, because the setting needs to be adjusted again- i really dont' want to lose that rock!). then i wore a cute little ring i've had since way back when: gold with amethyst and tiny diamonds. now i'm on my favorite ring i never wear: the white gold plumeria ring we got when in hawaii. it didn't quite fit when we bought it, but now i'm glad because it fits perfectly. the ol' foot and hand swelling is settling in a bit, but not too bad.

adam and i are gradually nesting a bit, getting little things ready around the house. we're attempting to get rid of some boxes that have been lingering since the move a year ago now, but all in good time. we're also trying to get our diaper situation in hand too. i'm determined to make cloth diapers the convenient option adam wants and the ecologically friendly and cost effective option i want. i'm still working on it.

this coming week we celebrate our anniversary, go to a birthing prep class at the hospital and have another doctor's appointment. the icing on the week will be adam's shower this saturday. i cant' wait to have our friends over to the house to hang out and celebrate our upcoming lifestyle adjustment. i have to admit its a cool place in life to be when your friends are just as eager to hang out at a bar as they are to celebrate your having a baby. we seem to be in that special time of our lives where fun is important and having fun while playing a grown up is important too. sure, our lives will change a bit when the kid arrives, but i knwo we'll still have a good time too, and i'm looking forward to that. kids shouldn't end your social life, just modify it slightly. everyone's interested in having a good time!

showered

last weekend was our baby shower and it was amazing. somehow i forget how generous our families can be. the shower was held at horan's, adam's brother's bar, and they gave us the gift of delicious food and drink and wonderful service. there were about 40 of us there, so our event was no small feat. it still throws me off a little, but there were 3 tables of adam's family to my one, with 4 friends sitting with me and adam. there was talk of us inviting more of our friends to this event, but i'm glad we didn't. it would have been way too many people at once, too crowded in the room and no time to appreciate everyone who came out.

like i said, the food was delicious: chicken, rice, peas, salad. and for dessert, adam's mom out did herself by getting us all eli's cheesecake. no funky cake for us! it still amuses people to hear that i don't like cake, but it's true. unless me or my mom makes it (or it's carrot cake from costco) i really won't like it. what can i say? but cheesecake is always top on my list, especially if it's eli's. i got to have a piece of the turtle flavor and it was perfect.



adam and i opened gifts after the food and what a whirlwind that was! we had 2 to 3 helpers at any given point: little girl relatives all too eager to help us unwrap all the many surprises our family had in store for us. we found a good (though fast paced) rhythm when the girls would find the card first, then dig in on unwrapping. sarah performed the amazing feat of keeping up with it all in keeping notes for thank you's. after it all i was flushed and practically sweating and not all that sure what we received. adam said a few words and with a few hugs good by, the room cleared out like a school cafeteria after lunch. i was glad i got some visiting in while i did when i arrived, because no one stuck around after adam gave his thanks.

adam somehow packed most everything into the jeep and we headed home (when we got back home, i jokingly asked adam if it would have been too presumptuous to just take the van, hee hee). it was very surreal to just stand around while everyone else packed up the car, because if i so much as lifted anything larger than my purse, everyone would have been on my case about lifting in my condition. . . . blah blah blah. i'm just not used to not being helpful! since adam's detroit family was in town, we offered to have everyone over to visit and share our new house with them (they hadn't seen much of it yet. adam (somehow, again!) got all the gifts into the house and crammed them into the baby's room. it was a huge mound of stuff and very intimidating. we did some quick picking up, ran to the store for some snacks and had a wonderful evening visiting with family. wonderful, with the exception of my social faux pax of scolding grandma for feeding the dog. i'll admit i was very distracted keeping an eye on the dog and went straight from saying "no" to gibson for attempting to steal a chip out of her hand, to attempting to tell grandma "no" to not give him the chip. sure, i didn't very well expect her to eat it after being licked by gibson, but i didn't want her to reward him by giving it to him. unfortunately, according to adam, i didn't make the vocal transition between scolding gibson and reminding grandma not to feed the dog people food. i made an quick, awkward apology, but didn't know what to do with myself at that point. i'm still having a hard time having gibson hang out with people who are clearly not dog people: squirming at his approach and asking to be pet, jumping when his little wet nose touches their hand, awkwardly withdrawing themselves from him to attempt to keep some distance. it gets old calling him over to me every 3 minutes, especially when it doesn't seem to bother adam (maybe it bothers me too much?).

sunday was a special treat too. my mom's siblings and dad's local family all went over to rick's for dinner. with all the family gathered, rick and lisa shared their special news that lisa was 3 months pregnant and due in april! our little one would have a fresh new cousin to hang out with! of course, i had the privilege of finding out sooner, but it's still exciting to share the news with family. i'm really looking forward to our kids hanging out together, and to have this opportunity to grow closer to my brother and his wife, as we both go through this interesting experience of motherhood together. all in all it was fun to visit with family and catch up, since the shower went way too fast to do anything like that.



on tuesday, adam and i braved the mound o' gifts to try and make some sense of it all. i'm happy to say we were able to get a better appreciation for the gifts we received, sorted through items that needed to be returned (like the collection of thermometers and hooded towels and blankets), and organized what was staying into some semblance of use-ability. now all we have to do is find a new home for the full-sized bed in the room, remove the remaining boxes and start organizing the room for the baby.

now all we have to do is get those thank you cards out there!