loves

i love that ani's new favorite book is huggy kissy. even better, she's getting those *smack sound* kisses down, when she's in the mood to give them. i also love that ani pronounces Elmo "melmo." i love that nissa knows how to bread something for frying. she was pretending to be a cat and making some pretend fried fish and narrated herself through dipping the fish in flour, then egg, then bread crumbs, then into the pan. i'm so proud of my little sous-chef. i love that both girls will take up any opportunity to go in the yard barefoot and dig holes in the dirt. nissa loves finding earthworms, ani just seems to love being dirty. i love that ani's favorite aspect of her bedtime routine is brushing her teeth. i can bribe her to get into the bathroom with the promise of brushing teeth. i love (and hate) that nissa was offended by her cousin's singing. it is a delicate learning moment when you have to accept she is allowed to have her own opinion, but emphasize the importance of being tactful and polite. "stop singing" "it's horrible" is not the route to go. i love that i can distract ani by sending her on a quest for some doll. i also love that she understands how to put things back; she may not always want to, but she knows what i'm talking about and can do it when she feels like it. i love that nissa can take something very modern and electronic, like the princess palace pets app on ipad, and transform it into an afternoon of pretend play without any gadgets at all. i love that i can make a meal where both girls "help" and we can all be proud. i'm relieved that i'm learning to do so without any serious injuries to any of us. we recently made pizza as a group effort, and enchilada sauce. yum and yum.

reflections on a nursing strike

i sent this message to a cousin who was also dealing with a nursing strike. it was hard to balance being realistic with being optimistic. when it comes to breastfeeding, attitude has a lot to do with it, so a positive attitude goes a long way to having a positive nursing experience. there is always hope. what doesn't work today might work tomorrow. and there are endless approaches to try, as there are that many babies in the world making their moms nuts! unfortunately, the strike never broke for us. I pumped for a while and eventually stopped because it was a lot of effort for not a lot of output (i'd hand express for 30 minutes for an ounce at the end). but it took a while for us to get to that point. if i had it to do over again, i would have taken a day off after a few days and dedicated the day to me and her in the hopes of re-establishing a positive association with the breast. i'll never know for sure, but ani got 4 teeth in 4 weeks, so i assume she was associating her tooth pain with being at the breast. on that day off, i would have given her something for the pain and just hung out with lots of skin-to-skin. maybe i would have avoided the bottle all together, or tried the bait-and-switch method that worked for my sister-in-law and niece. at the end of the day, ani got 13 months of breastmilk, the first 10 from me directly when i was home, the last 5 via pumping exclusively. it was stressful, but stressing just made it worse. all you can do is give it a good college try and hope for the best. but if you're convinced it won't work, you'll create a self-fulfilled prophecy.

perfect end to the day

last night, we went out to dinner and came home later that usual. i got ani ready for bed, read her the "how many fish" book and tried to keep her on my lap for a snuggle. this used to be our routine, but for the last few weeks, i can hardly keep her on my lap (she usually gets down to sit on the other rocking chair), much less get any huggy time before bed. 

 but last night, she laid on my chest just like old times. then after a few minutes, turned to me to give me a kiss; a real kiss too, not just the open mouth monster kiss she usually offers. then she laid back down for a few more minutes. i could have sat there forever, but i had another kiddo to get ready and read to, so i had to put her in her crib.

then nissa and i started reading james and the giant peach. it's one of many things that i have fond memories of from my childhood, but encountering it again as a parent is almost a nightmare. the first two chapters are totally depressing and nissa almost started crying. i promised her it would get better, and i hope it does quickly! on the up side, nissa is listening well, despite the infrequency of illustrations and miserable content thus far. fingers crossed that the attention continues!

Long desired margarita from the corner cantina.

Just discovered th drawback to bubbles in the bathtub. . . Makes bath time poops stealth bombs. Yuck.

ani, how do i love thee? let me count the ways

ani can be bribed to go upstairs by offering to let her brush her teeth. she can say pancakes, amongst other things like yes, juice, shoes. the eats strawberries, leaves and all. she loves to pretend to be a dog and a cat with nissa. ani loves to share her food, although sometimes aggressively. she gives the best hugs, when she wants to; right around the knees are the best. she loves the word bubbles and self-soothes by holding her wrist to her lips. . . sometimes she will spit on her wrist and make bubbles and is so proud of herself.