illness anxiety

i was always told my my mother that she will always worry about me because she's my mother, because mothers worry. man, am i getting a taste of that right now. i've noticed this before, but it is exceptionally noticeable right now, that i am very anxious when the girls have something medically amiss that cannot be immediately addressed at home. last time it was nissa with a perpetual, though not confirmable, bladder infection. right now it's ani's impetigo. it started thursday or friday last week and it looked like she had had a runny nose for a week - her left nostril inflamed and runny. by the end of the day friday, it had gotten worse and she had a spot under each eye and one on her chin. plus, her thumb, which had what looked like a paper cut, had the appearance of a small popped blister. by saturday night she had a spot on her cheek, on the top of her nose and under her other nostril; an effort to remove the crust from her left nostril led to a slow, brief nosebleed after her nap and at the dinner table. sunday, the spots were larger and weeping, and the blister on her thumb had expanded to be the entire width of her thumb and the length of the joint. i called sunday morning and paged the doctor on call, to ask about her symptoms. adam had them first and was dealing with a sore in his nose for the last two weeks. after explaining about the sores in her nose and on her face and confirming there was no fever, she suspected hand foot and mouth disease; it is viral and all you can do is wait it out and ensure she gets plenty of fluids. i looked it up and ani didn't have sores in her mouth, nor a fever, nor any sores on her feet (the one on her hand was an infected cut) and neither did adam. i kept looking online and found impetigo to be a better match with her symptoms. starting saturday and building sunday and this morning, i am anxious for ani. all night saturday to sunday, i was fearful that she would die in her sleep because of this mystery flesh disease that i was doing nothing about. the research i did on sunday made me feel a bit better, because then i knew with a fair amount of certainty that it was just a bacterial infection (although highly contagious), that it could be treated, and that in most cases it goes away without incident (or scarring). what i realize now is that i need to be more observant of symptoms and not be afraid to look them up for an answer. not knowing was painful, but yet i chose to do nothing about that. i need to stop feeling helpless when it comes to medical concerns- that i can call the doctor on call any time and they will talk to me about my concerns, that the internet can hold reliable answers (and lots of scary, unlikely ones). i can't be like ned flanders' parents and try nothing and be all out of ideas. i need to be confident in my ability to do sensible research and my ability to observe her symptoms. no, i am not a doctor, but i am a mother with reliable instincts and an adult with a scientific background and mentality. impetigo repeated in my head hundreds of times over as i struggled to settle in for my scant six hours of sleep last night. upon waking, it was back and my anxiety grew as 8:30 approached and i could call the doctor's office to request an appointment. the anxiety lingers as i await a call from the doctor to see if she can squeeze me in today. i would really appreciate the closure of treating the illness and have hope of stopping the spread and fostering the healing process. adam is doing ok, because he is an adult who can wash his hands thoroughly and not touch is sores. ani is two and a half and can't help herself. at this point i just need to relax and get some work done. i need to think positively that the infection is not mrsa and will not spread to other parts of her body. i need to remember that ani is an otherwise healthy girl that has not been impeded by this infection, who will make a full recovery in short order. i need to keep my fingers crossed that i did not infect others over the weekend, before i understood how highly contagious her condition was.