memorial day weekend

whew. what a weekend. part of me is actually happy to be back at work. a very small part.

sunday i had the honor of becoming a child's godparent. bodhi conery reynolds is now the godchild of adam and i (though adam wasn't there in person). but, to be fair, i barely made it there myself, were it not for the baby's father's brother (and his other brother) going out of their way to pick me up from the side of the road where the abductor van spontaneously ran out of gas on the exit ramp**. once there, i was able to fulfill my duties and adam's, by (gulp) holding the baptism candle. i gulp because this is a duty reserved for the godfather. . . and in the crush the assisting party couldn't help but give me the candle when i held out my hand. ha ha! take that, lingering catholic sexism! i look at the catholic church as a family member: you love them unconditionally because they're family, but respectfully shake your head at their blunders, hoping tomorrow will bring fewer, less painful blunders. i'm sure that's more what jesus would want, short of attempting some real reform. maybe not. i've never met the guy, so there's no good way for me to tell. but i feel good about it and i hope to share my positive thoughts with others by example.

on that note, i have to comment how sad it is that "christian" has become a scary word for some catholics. it stems from the creepy group of people that have emerged and labeled themselves as "christian" only, but have the dietary habits of jews, enthusiasm of baptists and close to the pushiness of witnesses. catholics have become scared to call themselves christians, preferring catholic only. don't they realize they're just another flavor of christianity? that despite the sometimes extreme differences in flavors from one form of christianity to another, they all boil down to believing in christ and the goodwill example he gave us in life? it's a sad state of affairs, to say the least. and i am most sensitive as i try to merge my catholic background with my emerging armenian christianity experience. all the big stuff is the same and i hope that god shares my big picture view. you being nice? playing well with others? trying your best (i mean really your best, not the fakey just saying it)? you're ok.

enough religion. i'm mostly ready for summer. i say mostly because gibson and i got our first taste yesterday with a hi 70s humid day out in the yard. but we both survived and i have a promising vegetable garden in the works.

but man-o-man, was i hot and sweaty. and gibson could only run around so much. but that's what a pool is for. one for me, one for him. now all i have to do is find a swim suit that's socially acceptable for my shape!

but it's so great that gibson has made some friends. our neighbor has a young son, xavier (4 i think?) and an older child staying with them that love to play with gibson. a couple of times this past week, gibson has been brought over to the other yard to run circles around the boys and play goalie. it truly is win-win, because the three of them get a fun work out and are dead tired afterward. and i really appreciate that gibson is learning to interact with smaller kids, getting used to how they react to his gnawing and kissing, and just spending time with people other than me & adam. we'll be getting him castrated soon, and then we'll be able to head off to the dog parks and beaches, so he can get more practice interacting with other dogs.

**the people i really need to thank beyond drew and dan are the two random strangers that helped me push the van out of the middle of 3 lanes of exiting traffic (why did IDOT put the stopping traffic in the middle lane?), across one lane of absent-minded speeders (to a stop light, mind you), and safely to the shoulder. sure, i was blocking the only lane they had available, but without their generous offer of manpower and bravery, who knows how long i'd have been stranded there (and frustrated countless others trying to exit). those gentlemen were lifesavers and i hope their lives are richly rewarded for their good deed.

boy or girl?

indoor or outdoor plumbing? pink or blue? dollies or trucks?

do i have to choose? do i have to know? adam and i are of the opinion of "no." everyone wants to know if we know now (there's barely anything to see yet, people, it's only the first trimester!) or if we're going to find out. some people are surprised when we say no, others say something like "oh, it's your first, you should be surprised." but i don't think we'd want to know for any future babies either.

what planning, exactly, could one do for an infant of one gender or the other? i, for one, hate the color pink and most things girly, so there is no way on god's green earth i'm painting the baby's room pepto bismol. like i commented the other day, the only people that need to like how the baby's room looks is adam and i, since we'll have to look at it every day and the babe will be a bit too small to really have an opinion.

but what about clothes? what about clothes? it's a baby! put a diaper on, something to help regulate temperature (that's comfy and reasonably cute) and you're done. until they're 20-something weekend bums watching the boob tube, this is the most gender neutral time for dress in their lifetime. want to know it's a girl? i'll put a little hairband or something in her hair. want to know it's a boy? look for lack of hair decor. otherwise, assume at your own risk, because our child will be a baseball fan (sox to be specific) and will have early exposure to (and hoping for appreciation of) nature, fishing, math, science, building, cleaning and all other wonderful life experiences that don't need to be bogged down by gender assignment.

so there you go. my secret plan to avoid pink and girly paraphernalia is out. if no one at the shower knows, they can't get something crazy. and then i won't have to be guilt ridden for taking stuff back, because i'm a bit traditional when it comes to gifts: you obviously bought it for me/the baby for a reason, so i'm going to enjoy your gift to my fullest capacity and share that enjoyment with you, if i can.

by the way, last night (and previously) i felt an odd twitching sensation in my lower belly region. something slightly more involving than slapping a flabby matronly upper arm and watching it jiggle for a few seconds. . . but not quite as robust as a muscle twitch. i talked to adam about it and we have a sneaking suspicion that it might be the early signs of quickening: baby beating the hell out of my uterus for no other reason that because he/she is bored. or needs the exercise, because space is limited. our next appointment isn't until 6/6, so we'll have to ask then. but it's fun to think we can start interacting some what with the little one.

turn the corner

so, it looks like i've officially turned the corner on morning sickness. . . but not because my first trimester is over. that's not till week 14 (b/c i wasn't pregnant for the first 2 "weeks" of this process), but the remainder of the weekend proved very productive (house cleaning, laundry, dishes, yard work, oh my). i'm very excited to be able to do things again and not be dead tired at all times. not that i'm still tired (went to bed by 8:45 wednesday night).

i'm also officially naming my bella band a success. for whatever reason my pants appear to no longer fit my waist come this past monday morning. sure, i think i've snuck on another pound or 2 since last week, but not to the point of pants not fitting! bella band to the rescue. it has discreetly and comfortably kept my unbuttoned (though mostly-zippered) pants up all week, including jeans today. i think it's too soon to cross over to maternity wear just yet, so i'm really happy with how this is working out.

so i had to chuckle to myself last night. i received a voicemail from a family member, jokingly giving me grief for not calling about the news. this person already has 2 kids and we did not get a call on either; barely got the info when the children arrived. and *i* haven't called yet? hah.

i'm nervous that gibson's training and well being may fall victim to the pregnancy. he's been acting out a lot recently, but it's hard to tell if that's because he's acting out more, acting frustrated by our lack of interest and playing, forgetting his training, needing to be neutered, or sleeping all day. probably some combination of all of the above. but with adam starting his hectic work-every-day-for-2-months schedule, he's neither available nor awake enough to help in that department. we'll see if i can help step it up a bit.

long week

so the final week of my first trimester was a bit of a doozie. starting off by forgetting my doctor's appointment monday, but thank god i stayed home that day anyways, cuz it was worth it to make it. nurse useless took my medical history, but then when the doctor came, i got to hear the little heartbeat. fast, loud, clear, like the beating of a drum. i'm only disappointed adam missed it, as a result of my flakiness. next time we'll both be there, ipod recorder in hand, to really memorialize the experience.

then wednesday, i discovered i've put on 2 more pounds. i had been holding steady at an extra 10 since early on, but these extra 2 snuck up on me. to be fair, i haven't been nearly as active as i would like to be, but perhaps with more consistently-pleasant weather, that'll be more feasible. that, and not working quite so late at work. this week and last found me there at least an hour late, sometimes longer. good for the sick days i was out, bad for my efficiency after work, which was zero. also, i'm holding out for the second trimester energy boost i keep reading about. the need to eat every 2 hours is less urgent, but if i don't eat something, i tend to feel like crap. we'll see what the future weeks hold.

and then there was thursday. adam and i were being productive together (despite a worsening cold) and ran a couple of loads of dishes. load #2 resulted in an overflowing dishwasher, getting water all over, including in the laundry chute and in gibson's big crate. it wasn't until today (when my cold is waning, and my sense of smell is returning) that i realized just how wide-spread the funky water's reach was. thank goodness for bleach water- a spray and a wipe and hopefully all is better. so far so good.

alas, friday (and thursday) found me down for the count with a cold. just your garden variety mild fever, sneezing, coughing, plenty of solid phlegm for blowing.i feel like it's tapering off (like being able to stay vertical for more than 5 minutes) so i'm taking advantage by doing laundry (extra funky thanks to dishwasher water) and picking up around the house.

speaking of picking up, adam and i have agreed to make a concerted, joint effort to do more to keep the house clean. we're making a little progress, but not nearly as much as i'd like, but i'll accept the progress either way.

adam has been super cool this whole time and i don't think i tell him enough. i hear stories of baby daddys that are less than sensitive to changing mommas (both physical and emotional), but adam couldn't be more different. even my small breakdown the other day when the dog's bed kept me from stumbling to the bathroom for my nightly constitutional, adam was calm, cool and collected and helped me right away. it's a good thing to be happy with each other, happy with the potential future, happy in each other's company. it's almost too gushy and sweet to be true. my only challenge is to be as supportive and understanding when adam quits smoking (once baby arrives) and then we'll be made in the shade.