boy or girl?

indoor or outdoor plumbing? pink or blue? dollies or trucks?

do i have to choose? do i have to know? adam and i are of the opinion of "no." everyone wants to know if we know now (there's barely anything to see yet, people, it's only the first trimester!) or if we're going to find out. some people are surprised when we say no, others say something like "oh, it's your first, you should be surprised." but i don't think we'd want to know for any future babies either.

what planning, exactly, could one do for an infant of one gender or the other? i, for one, hate the color pink and most things girly, so there is no way on god's green earth i'm painting the baby's room pepto bismol. like i commented the other day, the only people that need to like how the baby's room looks is adam and i, since we'll have to look at it every day and the babe will be a bit too small to really have an opinion.

but what about clothes? what about clothes? it's a baby! put a diaper on, something to help regulate temperature (that's comfy and reasonably cute) and you're done. until they're 20-something weekend bums watching the boob tube, this is the most gender neutral time for dress in their lifetime. want to know it's a girl? i'll put a little hairband or something in her hair. want to know it's a boy? look for lack of hair decor. otherwise, assume at your own risk, because our child will be a baseball fan (sox to be specific) and will have early exposure to (and hoping for appreciation of) nature, fishing, math, science, building, cleaning and all other wonderful life experiences that don't need to be bogged down by gender assignment.

so there you go. my secret plan to avoid pink and girly paraphernalia is out. if no one at the shower knows, they can't get something crazy. and then i won't have to be guilt ridden for taking stuff back, because i'm a bit traditional when it comes to gifts: you obviously bought it for me/the baby for a reason, so i'm going to enjoy your gift to my fullest capacity and share that enjoyment with you, if i can.

by the way, last night (and previously) i felt an odd twitching sensation in my lower belly region. something slightly more involving than slapping a flabby matronly upper arm and watching it jiggle for a few seconds. . . but not quite as robust as a muscle twitch. i talked to adam about it and we have a sneaking suspicion that it might be the early signs of quickening: baby beating the hell out of my uterus for no other reason that because he/she is bored. or needs the exercise, because space is limited. our next appointment isn't until 6/6, so we'll have to ask then. but it's fun to think we can start interacting some what with the little one.