bad mommy day. . .

so today marks day 6 of ani's nursing strike. it started thursday after work- i got bit a few times, then cried at and nothing. i've been cried at and pushed away for 5 full days. i know it's temporary, but it's killing me. sunday she at least took the nipple, but bit and moved on. yesterday, no luck. i tried sneaking in this morning to sleep feed, but ended up waking up both girls. ani wouldn't go for just being comforted, so i had to prep a bottle, but it didn't really satisfy her. poor nissa! when they fell asleep and i tried to sneak out the bottle i left in the room, i woke ani yet again and i could hear nissa repeating one of my wee-hour lines in a groggy, desperate voice: "it's still very dark outside, it's time to sleep." sometimes i don't give nissa enough credit- she is fantastic with ani and always tries to calm her down and help. in the car, she'll ask me to turn down the radio so she can sing the abc's: that's ani's favorite. sure enough, if ani was crying, she'll quiet down and stop with nissa's singing. you read nursing strike stories and they are often of a similar tone. . . i never knew how hard it was until i experienced it myself. it seemed like it lasted forever, but i was grateful when it was over. well, i will be grateful. . . eventually. it's hard to relax and think positive. i think i'm getting there, and they both seem to test me up to a point. . . ugh. 5 days. i hope i make it out sane!

ani, my sweet

ani is the sweetest thing. maybe because she is still a baby and usually loves to stay in my arms, or that she giggles uncontrollably if you try to kiss her neck, or that she falls asleep at my breast in such an adorable way. so you can tell she's tired if she starts pulling her hair. also, she puts the back of her wrist to her mouth (near it, not touching) and makes a sucking motion with her mouth. it's very cute and so different from nissa. nissa with her thumb and ear are so classic, but this wrist thing is intriguing. she loves nissa so much, she usually can't take her eyes off of her. yesterday at lunch she just admired nissa at the table with a big smile on her face. adam tried to get her attention, but only for a few seconds before she was back on nissa. it's cute now, but i'm sure they'll be at odds more and more as they grow. i just hope they can get back to something like that when they're older. how many 9.5 month olds do you know that play the kazoo? 'cuz ani does. adam showed her how to play one and if the mood strikes her, she goes to town. she holds it in her mouth herself (will NOT do this with a bottle or cup, mind you, grrr) and loves the noise she makes with it. hilarious. yesterday i was cooking and ani was roaming the floor. i really should keep my floors cleaner, but i don't and i feel guilty. not super guilty, mind you, just a little. i dust her off when i pick her up and make sure she doesn't eat onion skins. anyway, when she wasn't in the pantry playing with plastic bags, she discovered her reflection in the oven and dish washer.

At the grocery store, nissa and ani rode in a car cart! That's the latest demand for shopping lately. Whil nissa enjoyed her usual broccoli, ani would reach over and help herself to some too.

Ani cut her first tooth on friday! Finally. She has been teething for what feels like 3 months.
She is soo smart! About 3 weeks ago i was playing peek a boo with ani to distract her while changing her diaper. She grabbed the edge of the dipe we were playing with and covered her face herself. Then she would pull it down, then back up.
Then last weekend we went to the park with emma and her mom on friday and emma's mom showed ani the sign for milk. The very next day, ani was getting fussy and when the people we were with thought she was waving hi. i looked down, oh no. That's milk.