Struggling

Maybe it's the long winter or drudgery of work , but lately i have been struggling to keep a cool head at home. No, screaming like a banshee does not, in fact, help us get us the door faster or get the girls into bed quicker, but it's what i feel i have to do lately out of feeling so frustrated. I'm not proud of it, especially when i hear the same words and harsh tones coming straight out of nissa's mouth directed at ani. That almost makes me even more frustrated and the spiral continues downward. 

Adam sees this behavior and points out the flaws and i can't disagree. But i'm so far down the rabbit hole that i cant find a solution either. I'm going to try to breathe more and go from there. 

Last night, i jokingly found two other options that might help as well. First, a generous margarita makes a lot of things better. Totally takes the edge off. Maybe one of those backpack style dispensers like at a baseball game would work? That, or moving back to 1950's england and smashing records  that i've ripped from my phonograph mid-song. Can't hurt.

The fact of the matter is this: i have wonderful kids, a wonderful husband, a decent job and all three of these aspects of my life deserve a respectful version of me, without the short temper. I have my work cut out for me.