waiting game

so, i have to admit, i'm disappointed to still be pregnant. sure, i'm only two days late (or one day late, if you go by the doctor's office, which clearly didnt' take into consideration the leap year).

yesterday's appointment with the doctor did not yield any new news. i've gained 3 pounds (whoa!) but my blood pressure and baby's heart rate were fine. i'm no more dilated than i was the last 2 weeks. we did discuss next steps, though, including a non-stress test on monday (which consists of sitting on a fetal monitor for 30 minutes and watching baby's reactions) and considering induction for either 11/20 or 11/25.

i really dont' want to have to be induced, but my doctor won't let me go much past 41 weeks. i really struggled with this concept all day yesterday. maybe it was because i was a bit over tired (gibson got me up at 3:30 and i only got 1 more hour of sleep before i had to get going) but i was almost to the point of tears thinking about being induced. i don't like the idea of the birth not progressing naturally and i really don't like the prospect of having more severe contractions as a result of chemical stimulation. then again, i don't want the little one bringing illness upon him/herself because he/she is feeling too comfy.

but, since my doctor's appointment yesterday, adam and i have talked and i think i've come to terms with the concept of inducing. there is a certain amount of comfort in having an end date, a goal of sorts where i know i won't have to wait past. of course, i have to remember that very little will be plan-able from here on out: when the baby will sleep, when breastfeeding will work, when the baby will learn the thousands of amazing things there are to learn. . . i've known gibson only 10 months and to think of how much he's learned in that short time, how much he's changed and grown, and how much more he has yet to do; i'm already in awe of what we have to look forward to with our new little one.

so, the big day will be 11/20, unless the baby chooses to make an appearance before then. in the interim, i continue to confound my coworkers by coming into work (what's the big deal in sitting in front of a computer all day and getting paid?). something i do think that's kinda neat is adam and i have started chatting more. we've always had a very open, well-communicated relationship, but with the baby due at any minute, we check in more, keep closer tabs on the little things. i'm sure it's short lived, but it's very reassuring to know he's just as anxious and excited as i am, and as eager to stay on the same page.

something else that just makes me smile is watching adam and gibson play together. yesterday afternoon the 2 of them wrestled and wrangled for the better part of an hour on the bed and it totally made my day. the best part was when gibson got really riled up and bounced around the bed, then took off down the hall, scrambled to turn around and come barreling back in towards the bed. it was hilarious to watch (especially the turning around part) and adam and i both got a good laugh from it. judging from gibson's eagerness to continue the play and happy barking, i'm guessing he had a good time too. we even all hung out on the bed together, one big snuggle fest as a family. i can't believe the baby is willing to miss all the fun, just to stay where it's warm and cozy. we have warm and cozy moments on the outside too!

what i'm not so keen on are people asking about the doctor's appointments- is there any new news? no. unless i was in labor while in the office, there'd be no new information. i'm still in the same position i was in last week, which is ripe and ready to go into labor at any point. i haven't had any contractions, so i'm no more dilated. the baby's dropped already, so that's not going to change (man, wouldnt' that be weird if it did!). beyond that, i'm still as comfortable as i've been and not having any problems doing my day-to-day stuff.

oh baby. we can't wait to meet you!