growing

ok, so i've noticed i really dont' have much time now, so i need to make these short and sweet.

nissa is growing like a weed. she's grown out of newborn size and is now filling out 0-3 month clothing rather nicely. she was absolutely swimming in newborn sized stuff when she came home! i can't thank adam's coworker and lola's mom enough for the generous donation of tiny clothes- but now they're too tiny for nissa!
before:
and after:

last night/this morning nissa slept 6 hours straight for the first time. amazing. i actually woke her up to feed her, so she may have slept longer than that. i'm so excited at the prospect of continuous sleep! now all i have to do is get her to do this at an earlier hour (she laid down at 3am, completely awake prior to) and in her bed. sometimes she can pull off crib sleeping, but last night and the night before i had to resort to the ol' swing.

breastfeeding has been going super well, but sometimes i could really go for a cup of coffee. or a martini. :D

monday, monday

this is getting interesting. i am currently pumping milk for future use, but mostly because i'm full and need to empty out. this will be the third time i've done so, and i have a bit of a stash forming in the freezer. we haven't tried feeding nissa by bottle yet, but now we have the option.

yesterday nissa and i talked to my parents by webcam and it was awesome. it's a little weird to be looking at someone looking up or down, depending on where the camera sits, but it's still cool to see who you're talking to. we'll have to find a way to video chat 3-way, so we can have rick and lisa there too.

i had my 6 week appointment today and apparently i'm all better! my uterus is back to normal, my cervix is closed (um, hello? never opened!) and my incision scar is healing nicely. there's been no magic weight loss yet, but i think that probably has to do with my poor eating and sleeping habits. i'm gong to try to be a little better about that moving forward.

waiting game

so, i have to admit, i'm disappointed to still be pregnant. sure, i'm only two days late (or one day late, if you go by the doctor's office, which clearly didnt' take into consideration the leap year).

yesterday's appointment with the doctor did not yield any new news. i've gained 3 pounds (whoa!) but my blood pressure and baby's heart rate were fine. i'm no more dilated than i was the last 2 weeks. we did discuss next steps, though, including a non-stress test on monday (which consists of sitting on a fetal monitor for 30 minutes and watching baby's reactions) and considering induction for either 11/20 or 11/25.

i really dont' want to have to be induced, but my doctor won't let me go much past 41 weeks. i really struggled with this concept all day yesterday. maybe it was because i was a bit over tired (gibson got me up at 3:30 and i only got 1 more hour of sleep before i had to get going) but i was almost to the point of tears thinking about being induced. i don't like the idea of the birth not progressing naturally and i really don't like the prospect of having more severe contractions as a result of chemical stimulation. then again, i don't want the little one bringing illness upon him/herself because he/she is feeling too comfy.

but, since my doctor's appointment yesterday, adam and i have talked and i think i've come to terms with the concept of inducing. there is a certain amount of comfort in having an end date, a goal of sorts where i know i won't have to wait past. of course, i have to remember that very little will be plan-able from here on out: when the baby will sleep, when breastfeeding will work, when the baby will learn the thousands of amazing things there are to learn. . . i've known gibson only 10 months and to think of how much he's learned in that short time, how much he's changed and grown, and how much more he has yet to do; i'm already in awe of what we have to look forward to with our new little one.

so, the big day will be 11/20, unless the baby chooses to make an appearance before then. in the interim, i continue to confound my coworkers by coming into work (what's the big deal in sitting in front of a computer all day and getting paid?). something i do think that's kinda neat is adam and i have started chatting more. we've always had a very open, well-communicated relationship, but with the baby due at any minute, we check in more, keep closer tabs on the little things. i'm sure it's short lived, but it's very reassuring to know he's just as anxious and excited as i am, and as eager to stay on the same page.

something else that just makes me smile is watching adam and gibson play together. yesterday afternoon the 2 of them wrestled and wrangled for the better part of an hour on the bed and it totally made my day. the best part was when gibson got really riled up and bounced around the bed, then took off down the hall, scrambled to turn around and come barreling back in towards the bed. it was hilarious to watch (especially the turning around part) and adam and i both got a good laugh from it. judging from gibson's eagerness to continue the play and happy barking, i'm guessing he had a good time too. we even all hung out on the bed together, one big snuggle fest as a family. i can't believe the baby is willing to miss all the fun, just to stay where it's warm and cozy. we have warm and cozy moments on the outside too!

what i'm not so keen on are people asking about the doctor's appointments- is there any new news? no. unless i was in labor while in the office, there'd be no new information. i'm still in the same position i was in last week, which is ripe and ready to go into labor at any point. i haven't had any contractions, so i'm no more dilated. the baby's dropped already, so that's not going to change (man, wouldnt' that be weird if it did!). beyond that, i'm still as comfortable as i've been and not having any problems doing my day-to-day stuff.

oh baby. we can't wait to meet you!

bummed

on monday i was bummed to discover that i can no longer do sit ups as part of my morning work out. it seems my abdominal muscles have split and it's really not safe any more. and by the way, super creepy to see your stomach go from rounded to pointy. . . oh well. i've been focusing on the elliptical since then, on which i can focus on cardio and posture, but get baby's heart moving too, and thinking about coming out!

yesterday i was bummed to have adam insist that i cannot have my annual mcrib sandwich. that famed mcdonald's sandwich available for a brief time each year is no longer an option while i am carrying and/or breastfeeding adam's child. argh! i only have one a year, but this year will have to be sacrificed. i guess i can understand, but i will never fully appreciate adam's dislike and distrust of the poor little pressed-pork sandwich. oh well.



today i'm bummed to find myself at work on my due date. i'm far from miserable, just eager to meet this little one. and eager to not have to get up early to go to work for a while. but mostly eager to meet the little one and get started on that chapter in our lives. my intuition insists that the baby will arrive any day now, but my brain is starting to say "brace for the worst" which could mean up to 2 more weeks of waiting and/or being induced. i'm not sure i could handle 2 more weeks of work, since i am so mentally and practically prepared for being out. the prospect of being induced intimidates me, both in the unnatural aspect of it and the likelihood of more intense contractions and increased possibility of needing an epidural or (gulp) further interventions. if only the baby would just arrive already. . . the suspense is killing me.

final stretch

so we're in the final stretch and i have to admit, i'm a bit anxious. like i told kate over the weekend: its like waiting to go get a new puppy, but instead of saying, "ok, let's go to the store now," i have to wait for the puppy to be brought to me AND i have to work for it. sure, it's a bad analogy, but it's the best my brain can come up with right now.

friday was a weird day for the process because i think my uterus was flexing on and off. nothing i think were contractions, but definitely new sensations than what i've experienced to date. then sunday at 5am, i woke up to what i think was a real contraction (extremely intense flex with a slight pang), but nothing else since. it's been so quiet that adam and i aren't ruling out the possibility of imagining it. . . i was asleep after all.

selfishly, i was hoping to not have to come to work today, but alas, here i am. i'm just so mentally prepared for baby (and for not being at work) that it's hard to just focus on the day. adam and i had to admit to ourselves out loud that we can't live out the next few days (gulp, weeks?) in an awkward limbo. we have to keep doing things (like stuff around the house, making plans with people) until baby says otherwise, or else go completely stir crazy. it's almost like cabin fever in winter: if you get outside and embrace the winter (and get some sun on your face), it makes getting through it easier. of course part of me would love to just sit on the couch until the baby arrives, but reality says i'll get bored really quick. plus, i think if i stay busy (and moving around), baby will be inspired to join us on the outside.

so come on, baby! come join us. anybody who is anybody is out here. . . it's the place to be!

11/4/08

on tuesday november 4th, 2008, gibson celebrated his first year of life. he got a magical stuffed duck toy that combined stuffed animal, squeaker, rope and ball. he enjoyed a special birthday dinner with chicken and cheese added to his kibble. he got to hang out with amy and karl, 2 people that engage his craziness and he loved every minute of it.

but we all got a very special present yesterday, the gift of a new president we can believe in. for the first time in my voting experience, there was a candidate i truly supported, not just selected as the lesser of two (or more) evils. even more historic, the candidate i chose actually won, and by a fair enough margin that the other candidate conceded by 10pm. added bonus: he's a sox fan!

barack and michelle's harvard law advisor was on comedy central last night and made an excellent point: the winner of the presidential election has a special obligation to keep this newly engaged nation engaged; to keep that interest and momentum going and make government something to be positively enthusiastic about, instead of ignorantly ambivalent. i look forward to obama's efforts in that respect because i believe he can accomplish that task.

i'm excited that our baby will arrive when it will be completely expected to have a black president. i said that yesterday morning, and i'm glad to see that baby will SEE a black president, not just a candidate. i'm excited that our next president has a real, human side. i'm excited that he is our generation's kennedy, but i'm hoping he doesn't follow in kennedy's footsteps. i'm excited to be hopeful in our nation's future.

question

if i bought my parent's house and am living there, does that count as "still living at home"?

retrospective

so, i haven't been keeping up with some thoughts i wanted to include here, so i have to go back a little.

last monday my coworker's baby was born. his wife was due a week after me, but apparently the baby had other plans. he was born happy and healthy at 37 weeks, but did have a hernia to address. i'm happy for them, but it really made it that much more "real" to know that my baby could arrive at any point. when i was thinking this, i reflected on how pregnancy can teach you a whole new perspective on patience. as i'm writing, i'm really starting to wish this baby would get this show on the road already.

the next day was very intense. i woke up tuesday morning with the baby in an awkward position, with his butt right under my ribcage. it's not the first time baby has found himself in that position, but it was very noticeable. just the night before when adam came to bed, he commented that he hadn't noticed me say anything about the baby moving recently. with that in the back of my mind, i went through my usual morning routine, but noticed the baby wasn't moving as usual. i typically feel a squirm or 2 while eating breakfast, but nothing. so i took a tall glass of cold water, went downstairs on the couch and drank and waited. nothing. by this point it had been a good 30-40 minutes since i had gotten up and i had eaten and drank cold water. i couldn't take it any more. i crawled into bed, woke up adam, but instead of explaining what was going on, i started to cry. sure, i was scared, but i hadn't realized just how scared i was till i had to put it into words for adam. he assured me everything was fine, but after a cigarette, he would call the hospital and see what they have to say. he called and the nurse he spoke with suggested i have some juice and call back after 45 minutes or so. but was that 45 minutes from when we first noticed nothing going on, or 45 minutes more after we spoke to her? she didn't seem too worried, but then again, not very reassuring either. i had some juice, waited 10 minutes, then we got in the car and went over to the hospital. we couldn't take it any more. adam held my hand the whole way there and although we talked about how it was most likely the baby was fine, especially since we had made it this far along, the hospital would be able to tell us for sure and put our minds at ease as best we could. i had to confess that i felt guilty dragging him out of bed for something that was probably nothing, but he insisted he wouldn't have it any other way. at that point i felt so good and bad at the same time, we got to the hospital and i felt like a bit of a zombie. when we got there, i had to change into a hospital gown while the nurse asked adam a slew of questions. in hindsight, i know adam was more nervous than he let on when he couldn't recall my birthday. he knows my birthday- has known for the last 10 years. . . but nerves can get you in weird ways. it took the nurse an agonizingly long time to find the baby's heartbeat with the fetal monitor. so much so, my blood pressure was way high (should have taken it before searching for the heartbeat!). but once that regular beat was heard, adam and i were both relieved and knew everything would be a-ok. turns out the baby didn't move till right around 8am (more than 2 hours after getting up), so we're guessing baby was just really tired that morning. some ER residents did an ultrasound and our doctor checked in on us before we left. all in all, the experience was positive and reassured us that coming in was the right thing to do.

later on that day, adam celebrated some more good news. he had his court date for the 2 bogus traffic violations he received, contested the tickets in court and won! the cop was a real jerk (gave one ticket, then when adam mentioned contesting it, he gave him another ticket since he was "going to be that way about it."), so it really made adam's day to win. between adam's quick thinking and watching lots of law and order, he questioned the offending officer so thoroughly and effectively that the judge didn't need to hear adam's side: he ruled in adam's favor and dismissed the tickets outright. truly, justice was served! adam feels some lingering disappointment for not being able to recite his well-planned statement, but when you do a good enough job of just asking questions, you kinda have to feel good about that!

thursday rolled around and i decided to vote early before my weekly appointment. this election is way too important to risk not being able to exercise my rights! the papers had been very pessimistic when reporting on early voting, citing hours-long lines all over the city since the option was made available on 10/13. so, i went to welles park at 8:45 (polls were to open at 9) and despite a line, i was in, out and voted by 9am. BUT, by 9am the line was zig-zagged around the corridor, out the door and down the block. thank goodness i went early! i got out in plenty of time for my 9:45 doctor's appointment, making the missed half day of work that much more worth while. when i got into work, my boss commented that our baby won't think it's weird having a black president and i couldn't agree more!

the doctor's appointment was another non-eventful experience, though due to some scheduling issues, i was there from 9:30 until 11. ugh. i gained a mere half pound and my blood pressure continues to be acceptable. a quick exam revealed i was barely dilated, but the doctor assured me that it was no gauge for when the baby would arrive (darn!). i asked about a recurring tingling in my right hand. . . i had chalked it up to swelling of some sort (i truly hope it is as temporary as everyone says, because i hate having sausage toes!! and i really miss :( my wedding ring). as it turns out, i most likely have a temporary version carpal tunnel. woo hoo! it's exacerbated by repetitive motions (mouse clicking, doh!, knitting, doh!) but not harmful in any real way. aside from being an odd sensation, it doesn't really bother me, but i would prefer for it to go away as soon as possible. the visit was wrapped up with a flu shot, something i really didn't think necessary, given the fact i would be home bound for the better part of flu season; but the prospect of company and being most likely sleep deprived, the doctor talked me into it. i had to chuckle at the waiver form i signed: am i allergic? who knows! this would be my first one. turns out i'm not and after a few weeks, i don't feel any worse for wear either. whew.

halloween came and went with little fanfare. i had bought some devilish wings for gibson a while back as an impulse buy from target. they were just too cute! too bad i didn't think through the sizing process, because when i attempted to put them on him after work, i was disappointed to find the straps weren't quite long enough to get around his ribcage. they looked perfect, but without a more sturdy attachment, they didn't stand a chance of staying on. ironically, i had used the wings as an inspiration for my own costume of "angel." i use quotes because it was a very loose interpretation. i wore the white sundress mom bought me over the summer (and i FINALLY got around to altering so i could fit into it: "large" was grossly misinterpreted) over jeans, my wedding tiara as halo and some blue fairy wings from a half-assed halloween from the past. i felt huge in the dress (it's very billowy) but cute enough. when i got home, i was excited to hand out candy to the kids and adam even came home early to help out. the screen from the door was removed (to hand out candy easily and keep gibson inside) and porchlight was on by 5:30 or so. . . for nothing! one person rang the bell but left before i could answer (i didn't take THAT long) and that was it. i left the light on until 8pm then called it quits. we were so bummed! good thing we got candy WE liked. . . cuz we ended up eating it all ourselves over the next few days.




monday really got my hopes up, but for little payoff. by the time i got to work monday morning, there was a ring of tightness around my torso: around my lower back and the under part of my belly. i felt different, but aside from tightness, i couldn't articulate it much more than that. i also had quite the appetite! i ate and and ate and ate (compared to my usual fare) and it kinda felt good. when nothing really happened beyond that, i came to the conclusion that the baby dropped. it did feel lower and every once in a while it seemed harder to walk "normally" from the added pressure. it was progress and i took it for all it's worth! that night adam and i did something we'd been talking about for a while: taking a belly picture! we had seen it online from someone else and it looked too cute to pass up. with the baby dropped, we figured we should really get on the ball, before there was no more belly to photograph. on the first take, it turned out well enough that we were done. of course, we would have loved to find a way to incorporate gibson in the shot too, but until he poses for the camera, we had no chance. he's in the room, though!

monday's shift got our hopes up, but thursday came and i was back in the doctor's office. i showed no weight gain, not much more dilation. my measurements confirmed the baby had dropped, but still, labor could be any day or time. the doctor confirmed that i shouldn't schedule any more appointments beyond the one the day after my due date; we will wait a week and go from there (should it come to that). i just wish there was something to know or some way to guess the timeframe.

i got back to work on thursday in time for a "surprise" shower, thrown by my coworkers. i use quotes because i got a call at the last week's doctor's appointment from my boss saying he was an idiot and to not read my email (his words, not mine). turns out his best laid plans lead him to include me in the invite. i assured him it was just as well, but he still was bummed. so i grabbed a pen and paper and headed down to the last minute "meeting" to be greeted by a room full of people around a table full of food. i think i acted surprised enough to fool the folks who didnt' know, but a few people knew better. but the bottom line was that i was truly surprised by how generous and thoughtful my coworkers are. i never would have expected so many people, so much food, such generous gifts. it really is heartwarming. it's not that i work with a bunch of duds (though there are a few), we just aren't really that social. it was a lot of fun, though that much harder to be the center of attention, since it was at least 95' in the room. it was amusing to wow everyone with my close due date (a week away) and my intention to work until the last day and attempt cloth diapering. it's almost as if practicality no longer has a place in childbearing any more. but we're bringing it back (like sexy, but better). yep, this whole work thing is pretty cool after all!

2 minute warning

thank goodness i follow football. adam commented to me over the weekend that a charged cell phone on my person at all times is a must, now that we're past the 2 minute warning. of pregnancy that is. just a little over 2 weeks is our official due date and the anticipation is starting to wear on me. i'm not the oversized, worn out expectant mother ready to "get this thing out of me", but rather the planner in me is loosing her patience. will i have time to get all the work (personal and business) done that i think i need to? what happens when i don't? ugh.

adam experienced a serious case of nesting this weekend and i was very impressed. i got a cold last week that kept me home thursday and friday (adam's days off), but later on friday adam caught the fever and we made some serious progress in the baby's room. to date, we had a full-size bed in the room for guests that needed a new home and several boxes of clothes and other junk that needed to be gone through. with the introduction of attic storage, we're trying to be more selective on what goes upstairs, to avoid it becoming a black hole of junk that no one needs or wants to look at ever again. but, come friday night we had sorted through boxes (only 4 went up to the attic), rearranged furniture (the bed went to the back porch short-term), and even set up the crib. sure, the room needs to be cleaned up a bit and painted, but the overall layout is looking good and is pretty much ready to use, should the baby decide to arrive sooner than the due date. i even did some laundry over the weekend and now there's some clothes, bedding and diapers and a changing table at the ready as well. we tried to set up the cradle, but that's proving a bit more challenging. first, the support board for the mattress is airing out after being replaced, stained and varnished. second, one of the supports ended up being warped in a way that prevented it from swinging, so we're attempting to straighten it out again. considering it's over 30 years old, these being the only issues is pretty darn impressive and i know it'll be ready to use once baby is ready. the bedding is all washed and ready to go!

of the many things we went through and unboxed was our stroller. it takes up a lot less space out of the box, but we're still looking for a long-term home for it. in the interim, it's hanging out in our dining room doorway and it turns out that gibson is not a fan! he stood back about 5 feet and growled and barked at it. when he somehow got past it, he cried because he felt stuck in the dining room. later on, adam opened it up in the bedroom and he ran up on the bed by me and pretty much hid from it. we can't quite figure out what his issue is with the stroller: it doesn't make noise like the vacuum, doesn't move around either (he liked it less when it did, though). i tried sitting with him and encouraging him to sniff it out, but we've only made meager progress. i think he can walk past it now without freaking out.

not immune

ok, so it turns out i'm not immune to the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy.

as i count down the weeks (i'm down to 3 now), i'm starting to really get some things together in anticipation of baby's arrival. last night i stained the piece of wood my dad prepared for the bassinet base and did a load of baby laundry. pulling the laundry out, i was struck by how tiny the "newborn" sized onsies were and had to show adam. "it's just so tiny!" i said. adam didnt' have much to say, but to agree. i, on the other hand, proceeded to burst into tears! we both laughed as adam said it was only a matter of time that everything fell apart at the last minute. a good family hug and a few minutes of cry-laughing later, i felt all better. hormones can be a wacky thing!

interestingly enough, the 37 week vegetable comparison brings us to a stalk of swiss chard. apparently it is comparable in length to the average 37 week old baby. and to think the baby is full term and could do ok at any time! wow. i hope OUR baby isn't anything like OUR swiss chard, because he/she would be a giant! we grew the red, instead of white, variety and it seems to have really liked our yard, as the stalks are almost 2 feet long and the leaves almost as big as legal-sized paper. we haven't eaten much of it, due to it's bitter and earthy flavor, but gwen the iguana we're pet-sitting for loves it.

so much to do, so little time. or is there plenty? that's what i'm struggling with most right now: not knowing how much time i have until the baby makes his/her grand entrance. so in the interim, i keep plugging away at my to-do list, hoping i get it all done in time.

anniversary!

so, this past week we celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary. scarily enough, this means we've been together 10 years, if you include the time we dated. 10 is just such a big, round number. . . it really makes a statement. what always intrigues me is that at the same time it's been forever and no time at all. i'll take it as a good sign.

we celebrated our anniversary by attending a "prepared childbirth" class at the hospital, followed up by ice cream from dairy queen. it's a sign of the times, i guess. we joked around that last year we went out to dinner and moved boxes; so i guess we're starting a bit of a trend combining practical and fun. plus, that shows how busy we've been in our married life together: buying a house and starting a family. we had talked about taking advantage of my 3 day weekend (with columbus day off), but with a lot of other things swirling around our calendar, it just didn't pan out. tuesday came and went with little fan fare, but who needs anniversary fan fare when there's a baby on the way? DQ is always a special treat for us, so it added just enough "special" to our day, especially given the fact we were in class till after 9pm.

class was an interesting experience. our instructor was a nurse in the delivery ward who had given birth to 3 children of her own. we truly respected her experience and knowledge, though her presentation became repetitive at times. we watched a video of 3 couple's birth experiences (constractions), talked about how to be prepared for coming into the hospital and a few other random items. we left before the relaxation exercises because it was getting late and we wanted to be able to spend *some* time together on our anniversary. in all, 2 interesting things came of the class. first, when our instructor commented on how all 3 of her children came early, her first 5 weeks early, adam had his first real reality check that the baby is truly close to arrival. i had been worrying about it for a couple of weeks now, but i'm more than happy to have some company on the worry train. of course, we both refuse to let the worrying take over, but it's hard to avoid the occasional wave of "whoa". the second interesting thing was we met a really nice couple due 3 days after us. during breaks over the 2 sessions, we figured out we have a bit in common and it's kinda neat to talk to other people truly going through the same thing we are. adam shared his cell number with them, and i hope they call.

thursday afternoon i had yet another doctor's appointment, back with my main doctor. i talked adam into going, since this would be the last one he could manage, given the rest are scheduled for the morning. it was at 1:15, but despite leaving work a little after noon, we didnt' get there till 1:30. i was frustrated, but what can you do when the red line takes 15 minutes to arrive and the brown line is delayed a few minutes for track work? of course, the desk person didnt' help a single bit. when you sign in, you write your name, dr's name, appt time, arrival time and if any info has changed. so when she asked if i knew if my appointment was at 1:15. . . duh, yes i knew, i wrote it down right there! so i responded "yes, but the train getting me here didn't know." then she has the gumption to ask if i called to let them know i was running late!?!?! "um no, i spent the majority of the time underground, so i couldn't call." and of course, she asked, was any of my information different. it took all the will i had to just answer "no." grrrrr. but, arriving late caused us to see our class-friends leaving, so that was kinda fun. the appointment was pretty fast and typical, with the only addition of a quick internal exam. i gained 3.5 lbs since 2 weeks ago and my cervix is soft and effacing, but nothing more exciting than that.

in the second session of class on thursday we watched a breathing video featuring early 80's fashion, watched a pain medication video, watched a labor video from an up-close-and-personal perspective, practiced some breathing and relaxation techniques and took a tour of the 2 relevant hospital wings. the breathing video was hilarious in that some fake-pregnant woman, complete with overdone shimmery make up, leotard and tights, demonstrated breathing exercises (i swear they all looked/sounded the same) with a creepy husband with a mustache and glasses. leotard and tights? what? being pregnant is uncomfortable enough as it is, as are a leotard and tights while not pregnant. . . who in their right mind would combine the two!?!?!?! adam and i got quite a few chuckles out of the class, but for all the wrong reasons. i suppose it's a good thing we didnt' go to school together; we probably would have never learned a thing, being too busy snickering at everything. the biggest revelation we got from the videos from both sessions is this: adam has no intention of being the dowdy, cuddly husband petting his laboring wife, as depicted in each one. adam assured me he'll be supportive and helpful, but not in the ways depicted in the video. given our mutual dislike of pda, this comes as no surprise and i told him as much. as long as he's helpful and doesn't take any hormonal rages personally, i think we'll both get through just fine. the tour was a bit of a disappointment, as while we saw the general wings/floors, all of the rooms were occupied in both areas, so we couldn't see more than the hallways. i may ask when i go in for appointments, but with morning appointments and a desire to limit my time away (and thus the time i have to make up), i may skip that opportunity. i am excited to hear that the hospital is offering free wi-fi, so we can take advantage of adam's iphone while there and maybe send out some pictures and emails.

saturday was the best day of the week last week by far. with help from karl (bass player in the band) and amy (karl's fiance), we threw adam a "baby daddy" shower for our friends. we had aimed for a party/get together for everyone to just hang out, have a few beers and snacks. we threw out the option to bring a gift, but down-played that aspect. since the family shower was just that: primarily family, and entirely female, we wanted to have an opportunity to celebrate with our friends, and friends of both genders. we put out a good spread of food, got a keg (though it still has some foaming issues), and decorated the basement. we even had some "games" for everyone: a hand-made stork filled with adult treats (liquor-filled chocolates, condoms and cigars), guess the baby food and guess the number of m&ms in a baby bottle.


we had some other games too, but these proved entertaining enough. a few extremely generous friends brought some gifts and we are so grateful!! we had a pretty good crowd and i think fun was had by all. i think gibson had a good time too: for a little while he got to hang out with his friends hermes and iris, then the rest of the time be showered with attention from our guests. he did enjoy karl's ruben dip a little too much, but after a timeout and closer surveillance, he did ok. i had to pace myself a bit, so as to not get too tired, and i lasted all the way till 3am. adam wasn't done partying until 6am! but, being pregnant and a flexible sleeper, i slept just fine despite the continuing festivities. happily, we have mature enough friends that clean up the next day was a breeze, involving cleaning up the food area and putting some glassware in the dishwasher.

it was back to work this morning for me, and man, am i a bit tired. i had stayed up late by sleeping later, but 6am still rolls around way too soon! i dipped into the newly-expanded wardrobe (i have courtesy of my generous friend sarah) this morning and i find myself wearing some fabulous green cords, but with mixed feelings about the waist line. these are over-the-belly pants, with a button and zipper like real pants. it's not terribly uncomfortable, but not all that comfy either. anyways, i made a big purchase this morning: cloth diaper supplies! $150 later i have what i think should last me 2 days. in a compromise with adam, we'll have disposables on hand too, so as to not over stress if cloth diapering proves too challenging at first. i'm thinking positive, but i want to give us the best chance possible too. can't wait to see how this pans out!

getting bigger

sure, people still insist i'm small for 7.5 months, but i'm starting to really feel big. like having a harder time getting off the couch big. it's fine, but amusing that it's starting to catch up with me. of course, i can still do my squats and other morning exercizes. . . but i am moving a bit more slowly now. i'm just not in that much of a hurry to get anywhere, but i'll get there eventually.

i've also moved on to my 3rd and final "wedding" ring during my pregnancy. i lasted a while with my band (but not my engagement ring, because the setting needs to be adjusted again- i really dont' want to lose that rock!). then i wore a cute little ring i've had since way back when: gold with amethyst and tiny diamonds. now i'm on my favorite ring i never wear: the white gold plumeria ring we got when in hawaii. it didn't quite fit when we bought it, but now i'm glad because it fits perfectly. the ol' foot and hand swelling is settling in a bit, but not too bad.

adam and i are gradually nesting a bit, getting little things ready around the house. we're attempting to get rid of some boxes that have been lingering since the move a year ago now, but all in good time. we're also trying to get our diaper situation in hand too. i'm determined to make cloth diapers the convenient option adam wants and the ecologically friendly and cost effective option i want. i'm still working on it.

this coming week we celebrate our anniversary, go to a birthing prep class at the hospital and have another doctor's appointment. the icing on the week will be adam's shower this saturday. i cant' wait to have our friends over to the house to hang out and celebrate our upcoming lifestyle adjustment. i have to admit its a cool place in life to be when your friends are just as eager to hang out at a bar as they are to celebrate your having a baby. we seem to be in that special time of our lives where fun is important and having fun while playing a grown up is important too. sure, our lives will change a bit when the kid arrives, but i knwo we'll still have a good time too, and i'm looking forward to that. kids shouldn't end your social life, just modify it slightly. everyone's interested in having a good time!

showered

last weekend was our baby shower and it was amazing. somehow i forget how generous our families can be. the shower was held at horan's, adam's brother's bar, and they gave us the gift of delicious food and drink and wonderful service. there were about 40 of us there, so our event was no small feat. it still throws me off a little, but there were 3 tables of adam's family to my one, with 4 friends sitting with me and adam. there was talk of us inviting more of our friends to this event, but i'm glad we didn't. it would have been way too many people at once, too crowded in the room and no time to appreciate everyone who came out.

like i said, the food was delicious: chicken, rice, peas, salad. and for dessert, adam's mom out did herself by getting us all eli's cheesecake. no funky cake for us! it still amuses people to hear that i don't like cake, but it's true. unless me or my mom makes it (or it's carrot cake from costco) i really won't like it. what can i say? but cheesecake is always top on my list, especially if it's eli's. i got to have a piece of the turtle flavor and it was perfect.



adam and i opened gifts after the food and what a whirlwind that was! we had 2 to 3 helpers at any given point: little girl relatives all too eager to help us unwrap all the many surprises our family had in store for us. we found a good (though fast paced) rhythm when the girls would find the card first, then dig in on unwrapping. sarah performed the amazing feat of keeping up with it all in keeping notes for thank you's. after it all i was flushed and practically sweating and not all that sure what we received. adam said a few words and with a few hugs good by, the room cleared out like a school cafeteria after lunch. i was glad i got some visiting in while i did when i arrived, because no one stuck around after adam gave his thanks.

adam somehow packed most everything into the jeep and we headed home (when we got back home, i jokingly asked adam if it would have been too presumptuous to just take the van, hee hee). it was very surreal to just stand around while everyone else packed up the car, because if i so much as lifted anything larger than my purse, everyone would have been on my case about lifting in my condition. . . . blah blah blah. i'm just not used to not being helpful! since adam's detroit family was in town, we offered to have everyone over to visit and share our new house with them (they hadn't seen much of it yet. adam (somehow, again!) got all the gifts into the house and crammed them into the baby's room. it was a huge mound of stuff and very intimidating. we did some quick picking up, ran to the store for some snacks and had a wonderful evening visiting with family. wonderful, with the exception of my social faux pax of scolding grandma for feeding the dog. i'll admit i was very distracted keeping an eye on the dog and went straight from saying "no" to gibson for attempting to steal a chip out of her hand, to attempting to tell grandma "no" to not give him the chip. sure, i didn't very well expect her to eat it after being licked by gibson, but i didn't want her to reward him by giving it to him. unfortunately, according to adam, i didn't make the vocal transition between scolding gibson and reminding grandma not to feed the dog people food. i made an quick, awkward apology, but didn't know what to do with myself at that point. i'm still having a hard time having gibson hang out with people who are clearly not dog people: squirming at his approach and asking to be pet, jumping when his little wet nose touches their hand, awkwardly withdrawing themselves from him to attempt to keep some distance. it gets old calling him over to me every 3 minutes, especially when it doesn't seem to bother adam (maybe it bothers me too much?).

sunday was a special treat too. my mom's siblings and dad's local family all went over to rick's for dinner. with all the family gathered, rick and lisa shared their special news that lisa was 3 months pregnant and due in april! our little one would have a fresh new cousin to hang out with! of course, i had the privilege of finding out sooner, but it's still exciting to share the news with family. i'm really looking forward to our kids hanging out together, and to have this opportunity to grow closer to my brother and his wife, as we both go through this interesting experience of motherhood together. all in all it was fun to visit with family and catch up, since the shower went way too fast to do anything like that.



on tuesday, adam and i braved the mound o' gifts to try and make some sense of it all. i'm happy to say we were able to get a better appreciation for the gifts we received, sorted through items that needed to be returned (like the collection of thermometers and hooded towels and blankets), and organized what was staying into some semblance of use-ability. now all we have to do is find a new home for the full-sized bed in the room, remove the remaining boxes and start organizing the room for the baby.

now all we have to do is get those thank you cards out there!

seriously? you didn't think i was pregnant?

so a coworker asked me last week if i was pregnant. she wasn't sure until recently that i wasn't just putting on a ton of weight. really? you work with me every day, saw me loose a bunch of weight and keep it off for 2 years, then all of a sudden i start packing on the pounds? at least ask someone. jeez. enough people know that you could have gotten a straight answer. that was a bit confusing for me. if nothing else, surely the pregnancy-type clothes and general absence of trying to minimize the appearance of weight gain should have been a tip off. most ladies who gain weight tend not to wear maternity clothes or fitted tops that show off the belly. oi. just had to get that off my chest.

so in addition to packing on the pounds, pregnancy has afforded me a wonderful motivation to keep my posture. now that the baby is taking up so much room in my belly, i really can't afford to slouch at all. if i do for more than a second, i've got feet in my ribcage, forcing me to sit up straight faster than a nun with a ruler. i've always kind of prided myself on my posture and the little one just helps me remember to keep it up, despite the desire to be lazy. it's a good thing, really, so i suppose in the end i'm grateful to the baby. it's helped me continue to feel good as i grow. that and gymshoes and chaco sandals, the 2 most supportive pairs of shoes in my closet. i've abandoned even my flip flops in favor of the support and comfort the other 2 pairs offer. sure, it's not the most professional appearance, but i try to make up for it by continuing to be productive at work, despite the nagging desire to crawl under my desk and nap all day. not an argument i'd necessarily offer my bosses, but it makes me feel better.

so the countdown is finally at a point where its grasp-able. 6 more weeks is a very real, comprehensible time frame i can relate to, and it's getting a little intimidating. i think i'm ready, but only time will tell. i know with adam at my side, we can figure it out and make whatever happen that needs to. i think the relative closeness has subconsciously inspired me to start preparing. i've decided to start organizing the baby's stuff somewhat, and adam and i have started to go through some of the boxes of clothes that have been stored in the spare bedroom since we've moved. progress is progress, but it would have been better to get more done before i said aloud, "wow, we're really making good progress" and adam pulls a muscle in his back, bending over to get something off the floor. argh. i jinxed it.

this past weekend our good friend dann got married. it was a beautiful day, wonderful ceremony, fun pow-wow and festive reception. if the wedding is any indicator of the quality of marriage, they're in for a long life of fun, friends, family and fun. it was that fun, what can i say. being out in the burbs, we rented a hotel room for friday and saturday night, to avoid any commuting issues for the big day. it worked out brilliantly for me, since i got to work out and spend some leisure time in the pool before heading out for the festivities. it was very relaxing and just what the doctor ordered (if a doctor knew what was good for him/her!) i also had the unique privilege of wearing a beautiful black dress that my own mother wore when she was pregnant with me. so i guess you could say that was the second time i had been in that dress for a party. . . ha.

i got lots of compliments on the dress and even more compliments on how well i was holding up. it's not that big a deal to me, but i guess with all the negative publicity pregnancy gets these days in movies, tv and what not, a content mother-to-be is hard to come by. adam likes to say i love being pregnant. i wouldn't call it "love", it's more like just not hating it, being content with the changes and not dwelling on them. i do prefer to think positive, so in a time in my life when i'm growing exponentially, eating and peeing for 2 and every day finding a new small task i have to do ever so slightly differently to accommodate my current condition. . . it would be easy to be crazy and unhappy all the time, i just choose not to and just sit back and enjoy the ride. it's a new and exciting experience (that the human race has managed successfully for many, many years), so why not take it all in with a good sense of humor. i like being the happiest pregnant woman our friends have ever seen. maybe it'll inspire them to be more happy too (pregnancy not required).

i had another doctor's appointment on wednesday, and everything continues to be right on schedule. i event got to be accompanied by adam this time too. we met the 3rd and last doctor from the office and i'm pleased to say that while i'd prefer *my* doctor for the big day, i'll be comfortable with any of the other three, should the schedule require it. i was disappointed to hear i put on 3.5 pounds since the last appointment, which evens out any potential weight "loss" from previous visits. oh well. i'm still working out, still feeling good, still have good blood pressure, so whatever. i just have to work on not freaking out over passing the big 2-0-0 mark. ouch. sure, the math adds up, but it's an intimidating number to associate with my person. of course there will be plenty of time to do something about it once the baby arrives, so there's no point in worrying about it now! this doctor did prove somewhat amusing, with her concern of slight swelling in my lower legs (she has no baseline! what does she know?) and finding a "solid" heartbeat. we heard it just fine, but it was more distant that some past visits and she wanted to hear the solid thump-thump of a close listen. our baby is elusive, what can we say? adam suggested we should recruit our child to be a spy, he/she is so good at being elusive. it got a chuckle out of the doctor, but i don't think she found it as amusing as we did. one more appointment in 2 weeks, then we're in there every week. yipes!

so adam finds it amusing when i comment on people generously giving up their seats on the train or bus. what i had to explain was that it doesn't always happen, although i do try to time my commute to give myself the best chance of an open seat without having to rely on someone giving me theirs. all i can say is that i totally plan to keep a keener eye out for the pregnant ladies in the future because it can be a bit intimidating to stand on public transportation. not so much for the standing factor, but for when abrupt stops and turns can send you off balance and who knows where you and your belly will end up. though i thank generous folks as profusely as possible, i'll take this opportunity to thank you again. thanks!! i can only hope others will learn from your example. we pregnant ladies really do appreciate your generous consideration.

last but not least, i have to address my baby. he/she has been very active all week, ever since sunday afternoon. it's a shame, because billy really had his heart set on feeling the baby move. good thing we've got a few more weeks. it's been a trip: all times of day and evening, the baby is twisting and poking and really dancing a jig in there. it's fun, but distracting at times. i just continue to be grateful for the reminder that all is well on the inside.

back to the doctor, again

i had another doctor's appointment on tuesday. this was the first appointment i've had where i didnt' have a single question to ask. it was a little weird! i met another doctor int he office and she was just as pleasant and helpful as the others. everything checked out ok, only gained 1.5 lbs in 2 weeks (working out still working!). funny thing was neither nurse nor doctor commented on the nasty burn on my arm. maybe it's not that big a deal? the baby is as squiggly as ever, as he avoided letting us hear his heartbeat for a minute. last night adam got a new appreciation for the baby's movement: baby was active, so i tried again to place adam's hand on my belly. after a few seconds, the baby pushed up and adam felt it, but was convinced that i somehow caused the movement. i had to explain to him that it was all baby and he was eventually convinced that he managed to feel the baby a whopping second time. anyways, this last doctor's visit was pleasantly non-eventful and before i left i set up my remaining appointments. oi. that'll be a challenge. then i walked the 1.75 miles home; a nice stretch of the legs, especially for a pregnant gal.

a lot of folks at work are noticing the pregnancy, but i continue to be the smallest pregnant woman ever. "seven months!?!" they exclaim, "no way." alas, it is true. my modest showing has folks stumped far and wide, though i dont' see it. one person did concede that they could see how much bigger i was compared to when i started, but still, i'm not that "pregnant" looking. ugh. i can say i'm glad i'm carrying so well, because i haven't felt overly large (beyond being a little self-conscious at times) and been able to get around with little change and infrequent waddling. though, for the first time this week, i'm starting to feel "pregnant" in that my belly and back are starting to slow me down a little. not bad, but just a little. i guess my body's starting to catch up with my brain in realizing the baby's arrival is right around the corner!

work is proving to be a challenging front. i'm trying to get my ducks in a row, but it's slow going. i really dont' want people cursing my absence, nor taking steps backward in the meager progress i've managed to make. only time will tell, i guess. i've also been frustrated by our leave policy: by the book, a new mother has 2 options under the 12-week FMLA leave, to take short term disability and/or benefit time. what isnt' apparent until it's staring you in the face is that if you have any benefit time whatsoever, going on short-term disability is not really an option. this is because the disability starts counting the day you give birth, but you can't use it until you've depleted all of your benefit time first, then it only pays out up to the 6th week. so in my case, i have almost exactly 6 weeks of benefit time to exhaust, so it'll run out about the same time the short-term disability benefit window will. it seems odd to me to have 2 options, but you have to take them starting from the same point in time, so most people can't take advantage of the short-term disability benefit. some people get it, some don't. i think it's bogus. but it's a battle i'll have to wage strategically, but i'll definitely be pursuing it.

i'm excited to know adam is looking to the horizon of his smoking habit. i'm writing this with the expectation that few people actually read along, so there won't be people harassing him about his progress. he'll do just fine if left to his own devices and his own timeline. just look at the yard! ok, maybe i'll have to take a picture. but yesterday, adam mowed the lawn (it had been quite a while, with lots of rain)turned over the soil in the flower beds along the fence, relocated the peonys and "installed" our composter. i'm not sure how he managed it all in one day, but the yard looks outstanding and i can't tell him enough how impressed i am with his work. but he got so much done because he did it on his own terms and schedule. if i had asked him to do that stuff, he might not have accomplished as much. sure, at times, it's frustrating to have him be on a different schedule than me, but with patience, we both get what we need accomplished, and that's what matters. so with the smoking, adam's on his last carton of cigarettes and afterward, he hopes to transition to pipe smoking to ease the withdrawal and oral fixation, eventually phasing that out to an occasional, infrequent habit. like i told him yesterday, i knew he would quit eventually, but the prospect of the final steps going into action are exciting. i'm really happy for him and i hope he can count on me to help him transition into this healthier state of living.

camping, accidents, 7 months!?!?!

so we went camping at owasippe this past weekend. it's a boy scout camp in michigan, about 4 hours away, just north of muskegon. we've been going for 5 years now, i believe. we always have a good time with friends, fishing, hiking, hanging around the campfire and this year was no exception. part of me was curious about how my camping experience would be different in my condition, most of me was curious about how gibson would like the experience.

we got off to an adventurous start with an 3am arrival to the outside gates being locked. it was clearly too late to find someone to let us in, so adam had the camping spirit and recommended we grab the basics (tent, mattress and sleeping bag for us) and hike it in. after too many hours in the van (it was raining, so the trip was slow going) the hike did us all good, but especially gibson and his new friend bandit. they'd run ahead, run behind, run to the sides. they put our sluggish pace to shame with the amount of ground they covered. just as well, because by the time we got to camp and set up our basics, gibson was ready to join us for bed. we got up bright and early to meet up with al, when he informed us that the powers that be came up with a new concern: liability. for that reason, the gates had to be locked at all times and only scouters and campers were allowed on the grounds. bless his generous heart, he stayed up till 12:30 waiting for us to arrive. of course we would have made more of an effort to arrive, had we known, but that information was never relayed to us. we brought in the cars and eventually arranged for the key to the lock to be left available for us to come and go and future guests to let themselves in without issue. friday was spent settling in, adam and i did some fishing (despite protests from gibson), and awaiting the next round of guests.


saturday adam went fishing with nancy and i dragged everyone else out for a hike. i suppose drag isnt' a fair word: everyone came willingly and seemed to have an enjoyable time at it. we hiked the red trail around to owasippe's grave and when half of us turned back, the other half completed the circuit to paradise valley, big blue lake and through a bit of camp blackhawk. it was a fun time, though a lot longer than i recall. i impressed everyone with my hiking-while-pregnant fortitude, but i was straight up pooped when we got back. ironically, so was gibson. saturday's dinner turned into a marathon of eating, with dishes from all sides, including some asian bass, courtesy of nancy's culinary skills and adam and her fishing skills. we eventually finished up with some apple cobbler, a camping staple.


sunday was pretty chill, but ended up being a frustrating day. earlier in the day, i volunteered gibson and i to go down to the north dock and get another rowboat. i pulled it down, got it in the water, and gibson went in and out once. i climbed in, got gibson in and shoved off. then all of a sudden, gibson decided he wanted to be back on the dock, but ended up in the water instead. i had to coach gibson around the pier to get out of the water and ended up needing to exit the boat to do so. not thinking, i left the rowboat alongside the dock, but it quickly floated away out of reach. so we got to walk back to camp, i had to leave gibson behind, i flagged down eric to canoe on over to the dock and fetch me the runaway rowboat. later that day, i decided to walk down to the south dock and try some fishing with gibson along. i thought it would be a good opportunity to fish around gibson and see how he took to the casting. no sooner did we arrive, then gibson made a mad dash for the water in a frantic splash. again, i had to coach him around to get to land where he could get out. it was sunny, i had my brand-new ray bans on, but opted to put them in my pocket for safe keeping. with gibson back on land i grabbed my fishing stuff again and headed to the opposite end of the dock to eat lunch and fish. i reached for my sunglasses and they were gone. i looked around on land, in the water, nothing! i ate, looked, fished looked, fished and caught a tree, looked and called it quits. when i got back to camp, adam was back and insisted on looking for my sunglasses on the spot. after a solid 90 minutes (at least) the dock and surrounding area was covered in decomposed branches and leaves, adam was wet to his waist and i was pretty filthy too. but no sunglasses. we came back to look over the next 2 days to no avail. but dinner (adam's famous shish kebab and pilaf dinner) and dessert (an new combination of blueberry and cake) were delish.

we awoke monday to an overcast morning, which soon turned into a rainy day. adam went off with brian and adam for a fishing adventure and i hung back to hang out. we took a nap once adam got back to try to wait out the storm, while brian and adam chickened out and went back home. the rain eventually gave up after sundown, when we relied on the campfire to dry our chairs. at one point, i decided to flip my chair back from the fire to enjoy the toastiness, when gibson had the same idea and plopped himself down before i could do anything about it. i tried sharing the chair with him, but it wasn't quite the same. gibson also had some exposure to raccoons that night, and by exposure i mean we were at the fire bowl, the raccoons were at the kybo, and gibson got all the way out to the edge of the light to bark at the raccoons. he'd accompany me to the kybo when i went, but didn't really venture over on his own. that's enough for me.


tuesday was for packing out. adam and kyle went fishing and i hung back to get things started. oddly enough, i enjoy the packing up process, when i can take my time and follow my own rules; it's kind of relaxing in a weird way. gibson supervised from atop a picnic table covered in his blanket and it was good. adam and kyle returned, we brought back the remaining boats to the dock and we hit the road. thank goodness adam's a determined driver because he had little to no company: both gibson and i slept the majority of the trip back. a few select things were brought in and then it was showers all around (gibson too). all in all, it was a great camping trip that was just what i needed.

unfortunately, pregnancy has made me no less accident prone. beyond the sunglasses snafu, i managed to blindly walk into a stack of tent pallets (getting a nice, deep bruise on my shin), i obtained a nice bug bite (probably spider) on my thigh that swole up to a diameter of about 2 inches, then upon returning i attempted to cook dinner with hot grapeseed oil that leapt from the pan onto my forearm. if i keep this pace up, i'll be wheelchair bound before the child arrives!!

friday was my sister-in-law's birthday, but i was too distracted to realize it. instead, i focused on the intimidating fact that the baby's scheduled arrival is a mere TWO MONTHS AWAY! oh my goodness. sure, i've been counting up the weeks, with 40 as the goal and my belly has been growing steadily and showing the occasional movement of the alien parasite within, but 2 months? that's so close and easily contemplated. no, the baby's room is in no way ready. i've barely mentioned the phrase "FMLA" at work. there's a lot to be done and every weekend between now and 11/12 are booked with random activities. this will be a challenge, to be certain.

back to the doctor

yesterday was a fun doctor-day for me. i started off with my glucose screening at a lab office. all i had to do was drink some glucose, wait an hour, then get some blood drawn. the glucose was an artificially-orange flavored "drink" that tasted nasty and left a terrible taste in my mouth. it didn't help that sweet stuff has been giving me heartburn (and this stuff was a whole new definition of sweet). after a few minutes, distaste turned to nausea, but although i couldn't drink any water, i was allowed to rinse my mouth out, which helped tremendously. i spent the hour working on my knitting project: a sleep sack for the little one. (i really hope it turns out well and plan to bring the baby home in it.) 3 vials of blood later, i was out the door and off to my doctor's appointment.

i arrived 20 minutes early and man, did it pay off. i was in and out and on the bus back to work in 35 minutes flat: a world record, if you ask me. i met with a different doctor this time, as my usual doctor's office is a group practice and any one of the group's doctors may end up delivering my child. she was very nice and had helpful answers to my usual round of questions i present at my appointments. baby's heartbeat sounded good, blood pressure and urine sample was good. even my weight was ok: in the 2 weeks since my last appointment, i only gained 1 pound. at this point i should be gaining about a pound a week, but it looks like with my increased work outs, the baby's weight gain was half off-set by my own weight loss. i was pretty excited.

with my belly finally starting to feel "in the way" and kinda heavy, i'm glad i've found the energy to work out more regularly. it's helped my energy and general ability to get around and i feel good. the challenge will be to keep up with it after camping and beyond, as i continue to expand!!

i am SUPER excited for camping this weekend. we're almost packed, have a few things left to pick up and we're off. i know i'll probably spend more time in the hammock this year than i usually do, but i still can't wait. i'm sure gibson will love it, though he probably wont' love us leaving him to go fishing. we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. i'm just going to focus on relaxing, taking pictures and working on my knitting projects. i hope mother nature keeps the rain to a minimum, but otherwise i'm ready for anything!

in the ear

i've been intending to write for a few days now, but time is getting away from me really bad!

last monday i had another doctor's appointment that went well. baby's heart sounds good, my uterus growth is right on schedule and my blood pressure is a-ok. only bummer is my weight gain is a bit high (where it should be in total, not 2/3rds of the way there), so i decided then to make some changes. since then, i've been more diligent about working out in the morning and i think its working. i knew i was in trouble when, over the weekend, i tried on a pair of jeans that were comfy/baggy a few months in. sure, i expected to not be able to close them (duh, big belly happening!) but i could barely get them over my thighs. that confirmed my fear that i've been gaining too much me-weight, thinking it was baby-weight. so i'm hoping that a little extra exercise first thing in the morning (when i still have the energy) will help out both me and baby be in the best position come november. it's been about a week and a half and so far so good. let's see what the scale has to say for itself, since i'm supposed to put on about a pound a week from here on out! yipes!

one of these days i have to schedule my glucose screening, where i'll have the delightful experience of being at the lab for an hour. maybe this weekend? i hope my doctor wasn't expecting me to get it done before my next appointment, which is tuesday. yep, i'm down to every 2 weeks now!

friday night was quite monumental, and i'm still excited. adam came to bed after i did (because i'm ready to sleep come 9:30, but i try to hold out till 10:00) and i rolled over to say hi. turns out he was listening for the baby, but with his ear to my butt instead of my belly. it was dark, both are round and expansive, but still kinda funny that neither one of us noticed. it worked out well though, because as soon as he was listening from the right end, baby punched him right in the ear. this was the first time adam's actually felt the baby move and it was awesome. he finally got a little taste of my daily reminder of the little alien writhing in my abdomen. he's felt a little bit since then, but nothing quite so enthusiastic. ironically, any previous attempts of mine to get adam to feel the baby move were thwarted by his calming aura: an active, wiggly baby is instantly brought to stillness by the touch of his hand on my belly. it's even gotten to the point where if the baby's just moving like crazy (and getting a bit uncomfortable) adam offers to calm him down for me. as baby gets bigger (and bones more calcified) adam will have a harder time avoiding the action.

saturday morning, however, proved a bit intimidating for us. i got up and made my usual trip to the bathroom, but upon returning to the bedroom, i felt a small but noticeable leak down below. i've sneezed before and leaked some urine, but this didn't feel the same (not to mention i just left the bathroom). a quick investigation didn't yield anything, but i took it easy and focused on the baby moving for the next few hours. nothing else leaked that day or since, so i'm hoping it was just a random urine leakage. my belly has been no less taught and the baby no less active, so i'm trusting those 2 factors in hoping i'll, no we'll, be just fine.

i think the scare carried over to the rest of the day somewhat, because i remained hot (and unable to truly cool off) and crabby for the better part of the day. that included shopping for a shower gift for our friends, where my awesome plan was foiled when my intended registry gift was purchased by another in the time it took me to shower. we found an acceptable (though less awesome) alternate gift and made it out to yorkville in a mere 2.5 hours in the most hot-and-humid day so far this year, sans air conditioning. though we arrived before the scheduled end time (to a location that neither mapquest nor google maps knows about), the event was over and we arrived in time to help clean up and move gifts to the car. we still had a nice relaxing visit before the return trip, so the adventure was not for naught.

work has been a nightmare lately, so it's been taking everything i've got to not let it get to me. i know how stress can throw my health and mental well being for a loop (thanks, CHL from ISMS!) and i refuse to duplicate the experience ever again, much less while being with child. last week i scrambled (essentially on my own) to jot down directions for database prep for non-technical folks, while preparing a detailed training manual for presentation come monday. it is frustrating beyond belief to work several hours on something intended to be helpful, only to have people not so much as glance at it before dismissing it as "too much" or "not possible". i don't know how my work is going to get done while i'm out. i really don't. but come monday, with my boss' help, i had a training manual done and my first training session under my belt. a few tweaks and notes later helped me sail right through 2 days of two 3-hour sessions of standing and talking. maybe i'm out of practice, maybe i'm pregnant, but i completely forgot how tiring training can be. but i've survived and that's all that matters. that, and the fact that the folks i trained now have some experience under their belt. my personal amusement came from starting each session with "my name is rachel, and yes, i am 6 months pregnant". it has a bit of an AA vibe to it, but it helped get the sessions started off right, so it worked. the real test will be how well the info stuck with folks, as they move forward.

i'm looking forward to this weekend, but it'll be busy. i'll be helping make the invitations to the shower, for one thing. sure, it's weird to make the invites to my own shower, but i enjoy it and it annoys me when people i know have events, know that i make invitations (and do a darn good job, if i do say so myself) and go to other people to get their invitations made. after invitations, i'll be getting ready to go camping!! can't wait for that. been looking forward to it all summer. it'll be gibson's first trip, so that will prove interesting to be sure. i'm also going to try to squeeze in some house cleaning, because the house sorely needs it and i need it too.

i'm proud to say i'm almost done with my knit sleep-sack project for the baby. it's kind of a long tube of a sweater that i'm working on out of peacock blue wool, so i'm hoping it'll make a good home coming outfit. i recently ordered some additional yarn to make another, since it has gone so well. it's an awesome way to pass the time on the commute to and from work and rewarding to make something i know my baby will use and appreciate to some extent (he'll appreciate being warm!). i might try some coordinating mittens and/or a hat out of left over yarn, but we'll see.

school starts again on monday and i hope i'm pregnant-looking enough to earn a seat on the crowded bus. it's been rough putting on the excess weight, because i appear to be in an awkward middle ground of being potentially pregnant or just fat. i know a few times last week i came home later than usual and had to stand on the el the whole ride. once a generous man offered me his seat, but not everyone shares his generosity. the train isn't bad, but the bus would be rough, so maybe i should go shopping this weekend too? :D

smallest pregnant woman ever

i hear that a lot: that i hardly look pregnant at all. i'm sure they mean it as a compliment, but it really makes me feel like i just carry all this extra weight so naturally that people are accustomed to seeing me fat. now i feel as big and pregnant as ever (with plenty more to go), i find it frustrating.

today was the first day that my belly actually felt heavy. i noticed while walking to the el trying to talk my self out of needing to go to the batroom. i find myself doing that a lot, seeing as there are times when going is inconvenient, or more convenient if i waited. plus, i'm at the point where urgency seems relative, with volume playing little to no role at all.

i'm feeling as good as ever, but more easily tired than i'm used to. i'm still not up for registering for stuff; the prospect is still very daunting.

i'm hungry and tired and have a lot to do, but little desire and less energy to do so. let's see if delivered dinner puts some pep in my step.

6 month mark

here i am at 24 weeks and what a long strange trip it's been.

tuesday was gibson's big surgery day. to save on expenses, we went to a clinic (half as much as going to our vet); but with savings often come sacrifices. in this case, i had to sacrifice my time. after about a 40 minute drive (morning rush hour!) we waited for about 2 hours to be checked in. 2 hours in a room packed with owners and pets, all waiting forever, most not having eaten or drank since 8pm the night before, all struggling to stay calm despite the palpable discomfort of everyone(2 and 4 legged alike). gibson did make a friend, a 7 month rottie female, which provided some distraction with the occasional wrestling match, but even that had to be limited, given the circumstances. i returned after work to pick up gibson, only to wait another hour (watching a video of the exact same information provided on a handout). i picked up a coned, drugged out, depressing and depressed being in the guise of my dog and i almost cried. in the car and often that evening he would stand still and stare off into the distance for several minutes at a time. i was worried for him and did everything i could to comfort him and let him know he was loved, despite the day's traumatic experience. we keep telling ourselves it's for the best, and by wednesday evening we were reassured when we had our old gibson back. he now tears through the house, bulldozing his cone through everything, not letting it slow him down. so it looks like we still have gibson, though not anatomically sound, and are ready to continue his training to be the best big fuzzy brother he can be. i know he'll love his little brother/sister and i'm enjoying working with him to get him ready for the arrival.



i discovered on wednsday that i've gained another 4 pounds, putting the pregnancy total to 24 to date. i still like to exclude that first 10 lbs in my head, which makes the total seem much better. but the fact remains that although i eat well and do a little work out every morning, i'm not getting the exercise i need to keep the weight gain to a minimum. i'm dedicated to give this baby the best life possible, and a key ingredient will be my health and well-being. adam and i will have to work together on this, so we're both the healthiest e can be.

work has been very challenging. back in may, i broached the subject of a modified schedule with my bosses. i proposed working sundays instead of fridays, in an effort to get caught up on a project i've fallen sorely behind on. not only would i get caught up, but it would mean less hanging over my head come maternity leave time; plus, i'd have the added bonus of spending time with adam over the summer to get some quality time in before the baby. both bosses agreed and i enjoyed some wonderful productivity for about a month. then the hr director caught wind of my arrangement and decided it "set a bad precedent." and so, though there is no policy to support the hr director's position, my boss decided to rescind the offer of having a productive summer. among many reasons why this is disheartening, i was secretly using this request as a litmus test for potentially working part-time come parenthood. oh well.

i was disappointed yet again by my boss when i was brought on as an afterthought to a project i should have lead the way on. i have been assured that if i try my best to overcome ridiculous odds, time lines and management, i will not be "blamed" if the project doesn't come through successfully on time. so i am trying my hardest, despite frustration and challenges at every turn. however, i learned a hard lesson at my previous employer that stress gets you nowhere but creates unhappiness, illness and lack of productivity. so, while i do give this project my all, i am not putting in long hours at the expense of my home situation and not over worrying at the expense of my sanity and well being. this past week has challenged my creativity and problem solving and i only hope the coming week brings a miracle so things work out well. we'll see.

last night i attended part of the festivities at my friend meg's bachelorette party. for as much emphasis as there was on drinking, i still managed to have fun, and my pregnancy status was discussed without stealing the spotlight. she is by far one of the most genuine people i know, balancing fun, crazy, sweet, intelligent, honest and all other good qualities into one cute little package. i'm so excited for her wedding, i know her and andrew will have a long and happy marriage and if they are blessed with children, will make wonderful parents. i'm really disappointed that i won't be able to make it to their wedding. this is due to 2 things: 1) i don't have a willing victim to travel to grand rapids for the event and 2) adam isn't keen on me travelling without him in my current state.

i appreciate adam's heightened level of protectiveness since i've become pregnant. it's a comfort, not a burden, and i love him for it. i know the little one will grow to appreciate it as well, but if it's a girl, she may resent him for it for a while. in the end, i think kids should feel a balance of being protected but independent; protected enough that they feel confident, confident enough to rely on themselves, but having someone to fall back on when they need it.

movin' right along

this pregnancy is moving so fast, it's hard to imagine i'm more than half way there already (23 weeks).

this past friday had to be one of my most fun pregnant days so far. i had a random woman walking down the street smile at me in such a warm and friendly way; i knew it had everything to do with my belly. at work i had 2 different people congratulate me on my pregnancy. . . they hadn't heard about it yet from someone else. then we went to aaron's house for dinner, where we visited with grandma, auntie linda and brian. the novelty of discussing the pregnancy hasn't worn off yet, so it's still fun for me.

it's kinda nice to be showing in this way, that people can figure it out all on their own. plus, depending on what i'm wearing, it can be more or less noticeable. it doesn't help that i seem to be carrying all in front, but in a very broad way, so i'm not very round and it's easy to chalk up to fat. i know adam thinks i worry too much about how i look, but i can't help it. in my mind, it's more observational than obsessive; i'm not upset or unhappy for not looking so pregnant in the past, but it is definitely fun to be looking more and more definitively pregnant.

it's also super duper neat to feel the baby move around. the movements are getting more noticeable and powerful. i tried the other day to get adam to be able to feel a kick, but as soon as his hand was on my belly, baby stopped moving. i know there will be plenty of time for baby watching once he/she is here, but this is such a novel experience, i hope i can get adam in on the action too.

gibson and i had a good time yesterday: we went to the beach for the first time, and it was very successful. he got to meet and run around with a bunch of new dogs and it was neat to see that once off leash, he was much better about not punching dogs in the face. he still licks male dogs' privates a bit more that i'm comfortable with, but i'm trying not to apply my human standards to his behavior too much. i even got him to go into the water; i had to walk in at first, but once he was there, he liked it (though the small wave action intimidated him a bit). after that, he'd follow other dogs in, fetch a ball out of the water, the works. he likes to bite at the water and drink it, so when he'd work up a foam around his mouth from running, i'd lead him in for a drink. i'm not sure if he'd actually swim (he did this porpoising thing, jumping around) but maybe we'll explore that for next time. since his surgery is coming up this week (for real this time, now that i know what to plan for), he'll be able to go to the montrose dog beach, which is a tad closer, but inevitably more crowded. overall, the best part for us was not only to see him clearly have a blast at the beach, but then at night, he slept so soundly!

i know it's normal, but i'm starting to get bouts of nervousness about the baby.will i find a miracle way to afford to stay home with the baby? will we make enough time to be as nurturing as we need to be, to have the baby live up to our high expectations? am i going to go crazy being away from the baby at work? will gibson like is new sibling? all i can do is acknowledge the thought and let it pass. i can do very little about my concerns now (though i'm always looking for opportunities to earn from home) and i can't let them bog me down or stress me out. i dont' work well under stress and i owe it to the baby to be as healthy and happy as possible. truly, very little good comes from worrying, so i need to keep it in check. it sounds good as i write it, but in practice, it's a bit more challenging, but i'm managing so far.

july is here

and so is the half way point. and so are name selections. and so are recent ultrasounds. and so is baby movement! i didn't think that much has been going on, but i guess it has.

back on 6/16, i came up with a norwegian girl's name i could feel good about (and adam was fond of too). we'd agreed a while ago that if it was a boy, his name would be vahe adam; after his grandfather then following the family tradition of taking the father's first name as middle name. we unofficially decided it was up to me to come up with a girl's name, and i really wanted something ethnically relevant to my heritage. upon perusing various online resources, it became obvious just how great the name freya really is. the majority of norwegian girls names are very guttural, harsh sounding and just not very appealing to my english-speaking ears. i kinda liked Aase (but it sounds/looks to much like ass), gunda was ok, as was inca (but could be confused with the central american ancient population), and i'm going to hold onto toril, eir, and mista. but then it came to me: nissa. nisse are part of norwegian folklore and are helpful farm spirits (elves) that are associated with christmas in modern times. the spelling ending in 'a' just gives it a more feminine feel, i think. so there it will be; nissa rachel. in the end, the real test will be this (which i read somewhere, so it's not my original idea): how comfortable will we feel bellowing out these names over the playground? i think these two will work just fine.

i have to say i love being 20 weeks: half way there. it's a nice, substantial milestone in progress and i'm finally transitioning between just being fat and having a bit of a round baby belly. depending on the outfit, i actually look pregnant!

but then there's the ultrasound pictures. they are amazing. a little person all there and developed, it's nuts. and the technician jamie was great: she really printed out some excellent shots that are fun to share with people.

and like magic, knowing the little one is growing so big and healthily, i can feel some movement. little twitches, but i'm pretty sure that's what they are. i don't feel them all the time, but its weird to notice when i do: after i eat, when gibson is close and investigating my belly, when adam comes home. it's a wonderful reassurance that everything is progressing as it should.

and now july is here. the weather is warmer and i've worn my suit twice now. once to sit in the plastic kiddie pool (which gibson really wanted nothing to do with) and once to weed. it has the best, most comfortable support, so i'm sure i'll be wearing it a bunch this summer. the yard is coming along, though i could do without the brown spots on the lawn (thanks to gibson). we enjoyed our first "crop" of jalapenos last week, sliced on burgers. very good! i've done some follow up weeding and although the garden fencing is working well to keep out gibson, it's a pain in the butt to work with to move it to weed, so i'm thinking of alternatives for next year. but for outdoor enjoyment, i'm hoping the 3-day weekend coming up proves relaxing and sunny. here's hoping!

adam's skills

adam's skill set is impressing me more and more each day.

the other day, adam laid his head on my belly and listened for the baby's heartbeat. i've always know he has good ears, but this seemed a bit excessive. he reproduced what he heard while i helped him count the beats per minute. it was pretty close to what we heard at the doc's office, so i'm a believer. who needs to rent a doppler when i have a husband with super-hearing? baby's in store for an interesting few teen years, if adam's hearing stays this powerful- no sneaking out on his watch! the real test, though, will be if his hearing works in his sleep when baby needs help in the middle of the night.

then yesterday gibson cut his right front paw running around the yard. we're not 100% sure how he did it, but there was a significant cut just below his carpal pad. we think he may have caught his pad during his several jumps up to greet people at the back gate, as there were some blood smears there. adam and i brought him inside right away and i attempted to clean the would with a wet washcloth while adam held him supine. i'm such a wuss i had to hand the cloth over to adam. it was partially the blood, partially just a feeling of general helplessness. adam applied pressure until the bleeding mostly stopped. and from now on, adam will be in charge treating of all injuries, pets and children.

doc appt

we had another doctor's appointment thursday and it really went well. unless you count the 45 minute wait to see the doctor; that was a bit of a bummer, especially with adam needing to get to work.

but, waiting aside, we got to hear the heartbeat again (adam for the first time), and it sounded incredible again. the doctor was able to get a good read on the little one, creating a crisp audio. adam attempted to record with his ipod, but the finicky recorder let us down. maybe next time?

i found out that i passed my blood test with flying colors. whatever the long list of items were, my results were all in the "normal" column. according to the doctor, hardly everyone has all "normal," with at least one abnormal; but not me! whoo hoo!

apparently i passed the urine test too, because after i submitted my sample (it continues to amuse me how easy THAT is) the nurse stuck her head in the exam room to say the sample was good. adam and i were a bit confused by/perhaps impressed with her lightning-fast analysis, but whatever. she's got issues. when we first came into the exam room, the nurse asked if i felt the baby yet; i said no. any flutterings? no. any bleeding or cramping? no. interesting enough, when the doctor was talking to us, she asked if i felt anything yet, i said no, and she said that it was very normal and most first pregnancies don't have noticeable movement until 20 weeks (i'm 17 weeks currently). she commented that everyone wants to know if you're feeling anything, but not to worry if i don't. i was really tempted to ask, "so when the nurse asked me if i felt anything, then immediately asked if i had any symptoms of miscarriage, i shouldn't worry?" i didn't. maybe i should have. that nurse is a bit of a dolt.

something kinda fun happened yesterday, post exam, granted, but related. i was trying on a shirt i bought and adam was home. he commented on my pregnant belly (more fat than pregnant, but i'm not allowed to say things like that, adam's tired of my fat gripes). so then i asked adam to feel my uterus (that sounds weird); it's a noticeable round firmness right below my belly button. it's cool to feel because it's something tangible in an every day setting that says "i've got something growing inside me." adam loved it. it was something he could experience in real life too.

we'll have another ultrasound in 3 weeks. can't wait!

getting ready for summer pregnancy

so, i'm doing a couple of things to get ready for being pregnant during the summer. first, i'm working by butt off (or back, should i say?) to get the yard in decent shape. i'm weeding and planting veggies now, while i don't have a belly to work around. then, there'll be light weeding for the rest of summer . . . but most of the time on weekends to be spent fishing or lounging in the pool.

speaking of pool, that brings me to the 2nd thing i'm doing. . . shopping! i rarely buy clothes, but this whole impending beach-ball-belly thing will definitely require an exception. i've started off by getting some shorts and jeans and a bathing suit from mimi maternity. for once, that discover points-exchange thingy is coming in handy, in the form of a $50 gift certificate for the store. and it made a helpful dent in my purchase. but with that swim suit, i'm ready for the pool. all i need now is a slightly warmer day and i'm set. i wonder how gibson will react to the pool? i wonder if i can trust him in my pool, or if i'll have to limit him to his pool. . . ?

memorial day weekend

whew. what a weekend. part of me is actually happy to be back at work. a very small part.

sunday i had the honor of becoming a child's godparent. bodhi conery reynolds is now the godchild of adam and i (though adam wasn't there in person). but, to be fair, i barely made it there myself, were it not for the baby's father's brother (and his other brother) going out of their way to pick me up from the side of the road where the abductor van spontaneously ran out of gas on the exit ramp**. once there, i was able to fulfill my duties and adam's, by (gulp) holding the baptism candle. i gulp because this is a duty reserved for the godfather. . . and in the crush the assisting party couldn't help but give me the candle when i held out my hand. ha ha! take that, lingering catholic sexism! i look at the catholic church as a family member: you love them unconditionally because they're family, but respectfully shake your head at their blunders, hoping tomorrow will bring fewer, less painful blunders. i'm sure that's more what jesus would want, short of attempting some real reform. maybe not. i've never met the guy, so there's no good way for me to tell. but i feel good about it and i hope to share my positive thoughts with others by example.

on that note, i have to comment how sad it is that "christian" has become a scary word for some catholics. it stems from the creepy group of people that have emerged and labeled themselves as "christian" only, but have the dietary habits of jews, enthusiasm of baptists and close to the pushiness of witnesses. catholics have become scared to call themselves christians, preferring catholic only. don't they realize they're just another flavor of christianity? that despite the sometimes extreme differences in flavors from one form of christianity to another, they all boil down to believing in christ and the goodwill example he gave us in life? it's a sad state of affairs, to say the least. and i am most sensitive as i try to merge my catholic background with my emerging armenian christianity experience. all the big stuff is the same and i hope that god shares my big picture view. you being nice? playing well with others? trying your best (i mean really your best, not the fakey just saying it)? you're ok.

enough religion. i'm mostly ready for summer. i say mostly because gibson and i got our first taste yesterday with a hi 70s humid day out in the yard. but we both survived and i have a promising vegetable garden in the works.

but man-o-man, was i hot and sweaty. and gibson could only run around so much. but that's what a pool is for. one for me, one for him. now all i have to do is find a swim suit that's socially acceptable for my shape!

but it's so great that gibson has made some friends. our neighbor has a young son, xavier (4 i think?) and an older child staying with them that love to play with gibson. a couple of times this past week, gibson has been brought over to the other yard to run circles around the boys and play goalie. it truly is win-win, because the three of them get a fun work out and are dead tired afterward. and i really appreciate that gibson is learning to interact with smaller kids, getting used to how they react to his gnawing and kissing, and just spending time with people other than me & adam. we'll be getting him castrated soon, and then we'll be able to head off to the dog parks and beaches, so he can get more practice interacting with other dogs.

**the people i really need to thank beyond drew and dan are the two random strangers that helped me push the van out of the middle of 3 lanes of exiting traffic (why did IDOT put the stopping traffic in the middle lane?), across one lane of absent-minded speeders (to a stop light, mind you), and safely to the shoulder. sure, i was blocking the only lane they had available, but without their generous offer of manpower and bravery, who knows how long i'd have been stranded there (and frustrated countless others trying to exit). those gentlemen were lifesavers and i hope their lives are richly rewarded for their good deed.

boy or girl?

indoor or outdoor plumbing? pink or blue? dollies or trucks?

do i have to choose? do i have to know? adam and i are of the opinion of "no." everyone wants to know if we know now (there's barely anything to see yet, people, it's only the first trimester!) or if we're going to find out. some people are surprised when we say no, others say something like "oh, it's your first, you should be surprised." but i don't think we'd want to know for any future babies either.

what planning, exactly, could one do for an infant of one gender or the other? i, for one, hate the color pink and most things girly, so there is no way on god's green earth i'm painting the baby's room pepto bismol. like i commented the other day, the only people that need to like how the baby's room looks is adam and i, since we'll have to look at it every day and the babe will be a bit too small to really have an opinion.

but what about clothes? what about clothes? it's a baby! put a diaper on, something to help regulate temperature (that's comfy and reasonably cute) and you're done. until they're 20-something weekend bums watching the boob tube, this is the most gender neutral time for dress in their lifetime. want to know it's a girl? i'll put a little hairband or something in her hair. want to know it's a boy? look for lack of hair decor. otherwise, assume at your own risk, because our child will be a baseball fan (sox to be specific) and will have early exposure to (and hoping for appreciation of) nature, fishing, math, science, building, cleaning and all other wonderful life experiences that don't need to be bogged down by gender assignment.

so there you go. my secret plan to avoid pink and girly paraphernalia is out. if no one at the shower knows, they can't get something crazy. and then i won't have to be guilt ridden for taking stuff back, because i'm a bit traditional when it comes to gifts: you obviously bought it for me/the baby for a reason, so i'm going to enjoy your gift to my fullest capacity and share that enjoyment with you, if i can.

by the way, last night (and previously) i felt an odd twitching sensation in my lower belly region. something slightly more involving than slapping a flabby matronly upper arm and watching it jiggle for a few seconds. . . but not quite as robust as a muscle twitch. i talked to adam about it and we have a sneaking suspicion that it might be the early signs of quickening: baby beating the hell out of my uterus for no other reason that because he/she is bored. or needs the exercise, because space is limited. our next appointment isn't until 6/6, so we'll have to ask then. but it's fun to think we can start interacting some what with the little one.